Your Hardest Family Question: Are we enabling our daughter?
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Comments | Return to Story
SteveAugust 25, 2015
I am not LDS. I stumbled upon this article through a link from a different article I was reading. I can't believe that the author said nothing about collecting child support. That should have been his first point. Fathers have a responsibility to help support their children. This mother should be encouraged to demand assistance from her ex, and to go to court if she doesn't get it. They can even put a lean on his salary. They could also ask their daughter, while living with them, to help out with the cooking, cleaning and laundry. And perhaps her siblings, if they live nearby, could babysit one day a week for a few hours.
ajAugust 23, 2015
First, I disagree with the idea of going to the bishop. Although I appreciate the third party concept, bishop's are busy. Anyway,a couple ideas - take a vacation that will leave her with all of the responsibilities. This should give her a new appreciation for all you're doing. You could also take the approach to change things just enough so that moving out is *her* idea. She needs to do at least half the cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work, etc. as well as pay you for childcare and rent. I'm also thinking that if the daughter has siblings, they would be concerned about how the stress, etc is affecting the parents and they should be speaking up as well. Hope this helps. Good luck!
EugeneAugust 21, 2015
You certainly ignore the part of the question that says the ex-husband doesn't pay child support. Unless he is deceased, in prison or hospice care, she should be pursuing the money that is owed to her children, which would probably allow her and her sons to be living on their own.
CharlieBrown2292August 21, 2015
One additional resource that may help in resolving this issue - we have found it to be extremely helpful in dealing with sensitive family issues - is to get the Bishop involved. Indeed, what would be difficult for the parents to express - or hard for the daughter to take - stands better chances to be well received when it comes from a neutral Third-Party represented by a wise, loving and caring Bishop.
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