Somebody needs to alert her husband that's she's smoking again! He needs to divorce her and take custody of their son! I've heard of deadbeat moms, but this takes the cake! I feel sorry for the kid. If there is a choice to be made between a divorce and an adoption because an adult won't give a terrible habit, a divorce is what needs to happen. An adult is able to fend for themselves, children can't, and the child's best interest needs to be taken into consideration over the adult's. I hope this mother pulls her head out of her (cigarette) butt and learn to her own child's needs first!
JulinaAugust 30, 2015
@Mike J
While I agree with the general concern about "categorizing" sins, I would point out that the Old Testament itself condemns the actions of Reuben & Solomon - it's not a modernist interpretation (or at least, not a 2015 characterization...)
Genesis 49:3-4, Jacob counsels his oldest:
"3 Reuben, thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power:
"4 Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel; because thou wentest up to thy father’s bed; then defiledst thou it: he went up to my couch."
(Jacob himself uses the word "defiledst", making it seem unlikely to me that Reuben was involved in a standard/expected practice w/ his dad's concubine)
1 Kings 11:1, the reporter reports on Solomon's later life (after the "wisdom" reputation was established)
"1 But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites;"
I'm not sure it was the fact of multiple wives as much as it was the choice of women (including those not of the covenant) that was "an abomination". And I know that in teaching SS, I *have* touched on this as a topic of discussion (not just his wisdom).
Just some thoughts/clarification from where I sit...
God bless
MarieAugust 30, 2015
Thank you. This is an article that i really needed to read :)
j. clarkAugust 20, 2015
No one is exempt from needing to endure to the end, with fear and trembling. I've got the fear and trembling down pretty good, it's the enduring to the end I am still working out.
Mike JAugust 19, 2015
I enjoy the analogies and most of the sentiments expressed.....however i am increasingly disturbed by the "categorization" of sins by Church members - typically doing so based on their personal sins which may seem less egregious and certainly less visible. God does not look upon one sin as much more egregious as another....excepting those involving human life. Most sins, in their base desires, can be associated with one of the 10 commandments. One difficult thing for many is overlooking what we want and judging and justifying things we don't understand......which unfortunately takes place in this article. The author condemns Reuben for his actions while failing to note that Bilhah was Israel's "concubine".....no where in sctipture does it state that Bilhah and Zilpah were Israel's wives. We assume it was approved by God, but we don't know this for a fact. Many church members do not realize or understand that Abraham had dozens of sons....and perhaps more daughters...by different unknown women after Sarah was deceased. If the pattern of the Old Testament is applied we can safely assume some of these women were concubines. The same is openly done with Solomon....we talk about his great wisdom in Sunday school lessons but fail to mention he has perhaps as many as 1000 concubines.....which the Lord told Joseph Smith, somewhat confusingly in light of other Old Testament scripture, was an "abomination". Joseph himself had over 20 wives and as far as we know .consummated several with girls as young as 14.... which is NEVER discussed in Sunday school. Good take home lesson.....but let's not condemn another's sin when perhaps we have a collective beam in the eye.
Duane PannellAugust 15, 2015
To forget an important life lesson is normal and a condition of the veil. I've worked with addicts for 24 years, and just recently completed a 3 year mission with my wife in the Addiction Recovery Program. Experience tells me that physical addiction can be overcome in a relatively short time. Psychological addiction takes a little longer, but the most important thing that an addict can remember is that a person does not 'graduate' from 12-Step (repentance). You must become ever-vigilante to protect your sober way of life and continually live '12-Step'.
Aharon SmithAugust 15, 2015
I like to focus on the awareness that I sin because of a deep unmet need. Sin is insanity. It is missing the mark. The mark is where peace, wholeness, completion lies. When I sin, I fall short, I am usually trying to satisfy something in my psychosis and think that sin will do
This perspective keeps me much more aware of the temptations and how to fortify them that the perspective that sin is a fun and cool thing to do, but I'm not supposed to do it because some scripture said don't do it, or some church leader said don't do it, and Satan is going to try to come in and be sneaky and trick me into doing it. While this stuff is true, the that viewpoint doesn't give me enough strength to resist.
Sin is insanity. It is the doing stuff that is going to in the long run lock me into a prison, judging others, being bitter, anger, lusts that destroy love and intimacy, all these things will deaden my soul and put me in a place of misery. This perspective puts me in a deep determination to stay in the present moment, to continually take inventory of whether I an surrendering my will to the Father, and cycling my connection to him, and find that real peace and happiness I get by being my best self.
John ShorttAugust 12, 2015
Lucifer is indeed a cunning individual. He fishes for men's souls by the same methods a fisherman uses. If he fails at first, he will most surely try again, with a different bait. Once he finds one that works, he will hook fish until the remaining ones grow wary. Then he will change baits. When it comes to us, Lucifer always stays out of our view. If we can turn and recognize who is serving up temptation, he must flee.
The key to safety is to be watchful and know that if we ask, we can receive help from above through the help of the Holy Ghost.
DeniseAugust 12, 2015
Love you Brother Gibbons ! You are always so inspirational and right on !
R.BascomAugust 12, 2015
Wow the Ann Landers article really floored me.
I think Pres. Monson's comment response said it all.
Awesome !
Judith ShumwayAugust 11, 2015
That is such a good article. Thank you!
Hope in the SaviorAugust 11, 2015
That is true. In addition, my experience is that in order for a person to overcome a sin, that person must totally turn away from their sin. Change all of their habits, their friends, their music, their movies, etc., etc. And most do not, they return to the SAME life style, which eventually catches them with the SAME hook.
RicAugust 11, 2015
This is a perceptive article, but a lot of church leaders do not realize that they are dealing with addictions. Being more "spiritual" or staying away from lures is not enough with addictions. I am a recovering addict and there are too many church leaders that think we are just not strong enough or don't stay away from the lures when in fact it is a much bigger problem than that. It can only be overcome with therapy and a lot of support from 12-step groups and others. The Ann Landers is a great example of someone in the bonds of addiction that is not willing and cannot get out of the addiction by throwing the cigarettes in the trash. Some people need lots of support and help, not a bunch of people telling them they are weak and sinful. Addicts in the church already know that. These perceptions are going to have to change or the approximately 60-70% of males in the church that are addicted to pornography will never make it!
SpanishbakerAugust 11, 2015
Great article reminding us about flaxen cords...
Nerita FlakeAugust 11, 2015
True, true, true...thanks.
Rod TrevinoAugust 11, 2015
Thank you so much. I usually never read these emails that my wife signed up for, but today your message came to a heart that sorely needed to hear it. You have been an answer to a prayer. May God continue to inspire you to share these truths.
Comments | Return to Story
Cindy KerrSeptember 20, 2015
Somebody needs to alert her husband that's she's smoking again! He needs to divorce her and take custody of their son! I've heard of deadbeat moms, but this takes the cake! I feel sorry for the kid. If there is a choice to be made between a divorce and an adoption because an adult won't give a terrible habit, a divorce is what needs to happen. An adult is able to fend for themselves, children can't, and the child's best interest needs to be taken into consideration over the adult's. I hope this mother pulls her head out of her (cigarette) butt and learn to her own child's needs first!
JulinaAugust 30, 2015
@Mike J While I agree with the general concern about "categorizing" sins, I would point out that the Old Testament itself condemns the actions of Reuben & Solomon - it's not a modernist interpretation (or at least, not a 2015 characterization...) Genesis 49:3-4, Jacob counsels his oldest: "3 Reuben, thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power: "4 Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel; because thou wentest up to thy father’s bed; then defiledst thou it: he went up to my couch." (Jacob himself uses the word "defiledst", making it seem unlikely to me that Reuben was involved in a standard/expected practice w/ his dad's concubine) 1 Kings 11:1, the reporter reports on Solomon's later life (after the "wisdom" reputation was established) "1 But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites;" I'm not sure it was the fact of multiple wives as much as it was the choice of women (including those not of the covenant) that was "an abomination". And I know that in teaching SS, I *have* touched on this as a topic of discussion (not just his wisdom). Just some thoughts/clarification from where I sit... God bless
MarieAugust 30, 2015
Thank you. This is an article that i really needed to read :)
j. clarkAugust 20, 2015
No one is exempt from needing to endure to the end, with fear and trembling. I've got the fear and trembling down pretty good, it's the enduring to the end I am still working out.
Mike JAugust 19, 2015
I enjoy the analogies and most of the sentiments expressed.....however i am increasingly disturbed by the "categorization" of sins by Church members - typically doing so based on their personal sins which may seem less egregious and certainly less visible. God does not look upon one sin as much more egregious as another....excepting those involving human life. Most sins, in their base desires, can be associated with one of the 10 commandments. One difficult thing for many is overlooking what we want and judging and justifying things we don't understand......which unfortunately takes place in this article. The author condemns Reuben for his actions while failing to note that Bilhah was Israel's "concubine".....no where in sctipture does it state that Bilhah and Zilpah were Israel's wives. We assume it was approved by God, but we don't know this for a fact. Many church members do not realize or understand that Abraham had dozens of sons....and perhaps more daughters...by different unknown women after Sarah was deceased. If the pattern of the Old Testament is applied we can safely assume some of these women were concubines. The same is openly done with Solomon....we talk about his great wisdom in Sunday school lessons but fail to mention he has perhaps as many as 1000 concubines.....which the Lord told Joseph Smith, somewhat confusingly in light of other Old Testament scripture, was an "abomination". Joseph himself had over 20 wives and as far as we know .consummated several with girls as young as 14.... which is NEVER discussed in Sunday school. Good take home lesson.....but let's not condemn another's sin when perhaps we have a collective beam in the eye.
Duane PannellAugust 15, 2015
To forget an important life lesson is normal and a condition of the veil. I've worked with addicts for 24 years, and just recently completed a 3 year mission with my wife in the Addiction Recovery Program. Experience tells me that physical addiction can be overcome in a relatively short time. Psychological addiction takes a little longer, but the most important thing that an addict can remember is that a person does not 'graduate' from 12-Step (repentance). You must become ever-vigilante to protect your sober way of life and continually live '12-Step'.
Aharon SmithAugust 15, 2015
I like to focus on the awareness that I sin because of a deep unmet need. Sin is insanity. It is missing the mark. The mark is where peace, wholeness, completion lies. When I sin, I fall short, I am usually trying to satisfy something in my psychosis and think that sin will do This perspective keeps me much more aware of the temptations and how to fortify them that the perspective that sin is a fun and cool thing to do, but I'm not supposed to do it because some scripture said don't do it, or some church leader said don't do it, and Satan is going to try to come in and be sneaky and trick me into doing it. While this stuff is true, the that viewpoint doesn't give me enough strength to resist. Sin is insanity. It is the doing stuff that is going to in the long run lock me into a prison, judging others, being bitter, anger, lusts that destroy love and intimacy, all these things will deaden my soul and put me in a place of misery. This perspective puts me in a deep determination to stay in the present moment, to continually take inventory of whether I an surrendering my will to the Father, and cycling my connection to him, and find that real peace and happiness I get by being my best self.
John ShorttAugust 12, 2015
Lucifer is indeed a cunning individual. He fishes for men's souls by the same methods a fisherman uses. If he fails at first, he will most surely try again, with a different bait. Once he finds one that works, he will hook fish until the remaining ones grow wary. Then he will change baits. When it comes to us, Lucifer always stays out of our view. If we can turn and recognize who is serving up temptation, he must flee. The key to safety is to be watchful and know that if we ask, we can receive help from above through the help of the Holy Ghost.
DeniseAugust 12, 2015
Love you Brother Gibbons ! You are always so inspirational and right on !
R.BascomAugust 12, 2015
Wow the Ann Landers article really floored me. I think Pres. Monson's comment response said it all. Awesome !
Judith ShumwayAugust 11, 2015
That is such a good article. Thank you!
Hope in the SaviorAugust 11, 2015
That is true. In addition, my experience is that in order for a person to overcome a sin, that person must totally turn away from their sin. Change all of their habits, their friends, their music, their movies, etc., etc. And most do not, they return to the SAME life style, which eventually catches them with the SAME hook.
RicAugust 11, 2015
This is a perceptive article, but a lot of church leaders do not realize that they are dealing with addictions. Being more "spiritual" or staying away from lures is not enough with addictions. I am a recovering addict and there are too many church leaders that think we are just not strong enough or don't stay away from the lures when in fact it is a much bigger problem than that. It can only be overcome with therapy and a lot of support from 12-step groups and others. The Ann Landers is a great example of someone in the bonds of addiction that is not willing and cannot get out of the addiction by throwing the cigarettes in the trash. Some people need lots of support and help, not a bunch of people telling them they are weak and sinful. Addicts in the church already know that. These perceptions are going to have to change or the approximately 60-70% of males in the church that are addicted to pornography will never make it!
SpanishbakerAugust 11, 2015
Great article reminding us about flaxen cords...
Nerita FlakeAugust 11, 2015
True, true, true...thanks.
Rod TrevinoAugust 11, 2015
Thank you so much. I usually never read these emails that my wife signed up for, but today your message came to a heart that sorely needed to hear it. You have been an answer to a prayer. May God continue to inspire you to share these truths.
Debra MackAugust 10, 2015
Great article - such a sensible insight.
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