I was looking for some Letter Wall Art recently and began my search with the words, “faith, hope and…”.  The computer automatically filled in the remainder of my search with the word, “love.”  Wait a minute, I thought to myself.  Whatever happened to Faith Hope and Charity?  The word charity seems to have been replaced almost universally with the word love.  In the 13th chapter of Corinthians where Paul so beautifully defines charity the NIV Bible has replaced charity with love.  In the NKJV of the Bible the word charity has, likewise, been dismissed.

I have wondered why so many people consider these two qualities synonymous.  Perhaps because in 2 Nephi 26:30 Nephi says, “…the Lord God hath given a commandment that all men should have charity, which charity is love.”  Perhaps it is because Mormon teaches that charity is “the pure love of Christ” (Moroni 7:47).

The Doctrine and Covenants seems to acknowledge that charity and love are different virtues.  Section 4 verse 5 tells us that “faith, hope, charity and love” qualify a man for the work of the Lord.  If charity were the same as love, it wouldn’t be necessary to include both in the list of qualifications for service.

It seems to me that love, in the way we mortals love, is not the same as the pure love of Christ.  Love is not the same thing as charity.

The Pure Love of Christ

Paul defines charity with 15 very specific characteristics, some of which I have interpreted for ease of understanding.  He says charity:

Suffereth long (patient)
Is kind
Envieth not
Vaunteth not itself (humble)
Is not puffed up
Doth not behave itself unseemingly (modest)
Seeketh not her own (selfless)
Is not easily provoked
Thinketh no evil
Rejoiceth not in iniquity
Rejoiceth in the truth
Beareth all things
Believeth all things
Hopeth all things
Endureth all things

While Jesus Christ possesses all 15 of these qualities all of the time, we mortals don’t.  We may possess some of them, some of the time, but how many of us can score 15/15 with every human we meet?  We mortals may do a pretty good job of loving, but does that mean we have charity?

Love without Charity

I won’t attempt to define love.  Poets and philosophers across time have struggled and still struggle to do so.  But I know how it feels to love, and my family members know how it feels to be loved.  My kids will sometimes exclaim, “Mom, I know you love me.  Stop worrying about me!”  My husband will often claim, “I’m very grateful that you love me.  I feel so lucky.”

As much as I love my family members, I do not always exercise charity toward the people I love.  Sometimes I’m easily provoked, like when I’m tired, or in pain, or the noise level gets too loud.  Sometimes I can’t bear all things and I have to give myself a “time out.”  Clearly, I can love, but not necessarily exercise charity because charity and mortal love are not the same thing.

Charity without Love

Can we exercise charity, without having loving feelings?  Can we be patient and kind and humble and modest, etc. without the desire to hug someone or invite them over to dinner or spend our holidays together, as we might with a family member whom we love?  Of course.

When I was practicing psychotherapy, I didn’t necessarily feel loving toward my clients, but I had an abundant amount of charity for them.  I rejoiced in their progress, remained patient when they faltered, kept my cool even when they didn’t, refrained from thinking poorly of them, regardless of what they had done.  I felt deep compassion, concern, caring for those who came to me for help.  I didn’t love them like I love my family members, but often, very often, I felt how deeply Christ loved them.  I had the opportunity to feel the pure love Christ had for them, and it helped me feel the pure love Christ has for me.

Clearly, there are many different types of love and many ways to love.  Charity is one type of love, the type that is the pure love of Christ, the type that incorporates 15 different virtues.

Why this Matters

To assume that charity is interchangeable with love diminishes the uniqueness of each quality.  It is lot like taking Christ out of Christmas and leaving us with a barren X-mas.  Although love is a profound emotion, worthy to pursue and glorious to feel, it is not quite as encompassing as charity.

If we want to develop charity, which Paul says is even greater than either faith or hope, (I Cor 13:13) it helps to know what we are seeking.  If we believe charity is the same thing as love, we might think we have “arrived” because most of us know how to love.  However, when we recognize that charity is comprised of 15 different virtues, we can consider each one of these individually, and ask ourselves how we are doing in developing a particular virtue.

As wonderful as it is to love and be loved, we may not have the same bandwidth we could have when we also exercise charity.  We can exercise charity toward people we have never met, people who post online, or toward politicians and those who support them.  We don’t have to love them to have charity for them.  The more people that learn to be patient and kind and humble and modest, bear all things, and develop the many aspects of charity, the greater will be peace among communities and among nations, and throughout the world.  Paul was not exaggerating when he said that charity is truly the greatest virtue of all.

JeaNette Goates Smith is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the author of four books on family relations.  For more information go to www.smithfamilytherapy.org.