Why Aren’t More Mormons Standing Up For Marriage?
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Comments | Return to Story
devinSeptember 12, 2014
@daniel: I have no problem providing a legal framework, such as domestic unions, for people who want to create a legal arrangement to protect their economic interests. But your argument still keeps the focus on the needs of adults. Recognizing marriage as a unique contract between a man and a women is a way for society to protect the rights of children. We need to keep a strong legal framework surrounding man-woman marriage to protect
Mark StoddardSeptember 8, 2014
Bumper sticker politics rule, but... No one believes in total equality, just equality for their pet cause. Those wishing to subvert laws properly reserving marriage between one man and one woman get all offended when one takes their measure that anyone adults wishing to wed should be able to do so. Ludicrous. Why just adults. What right to you have to tell a 17 year old what he should do? And what about the claims of NAMBLA that they can't help what they are and why should you prevent them their liberty and equality. In the end society has the right to create standards and the standards for marriage are "everyone is entitled to wed provided they are 1) of legal age (inequality), 2) one man marrying one woman (inequality to polygamists), and 3) cousins shouldn't have children (how inhumane to prevent love). Next thing you know you're going to prevent a fraternity from marrying to protect their legal rights!
Rockgod28September 8, 2014
We did stand up for marriage. There were federal laws (DOMA) and state level laws like Prop. 8 all over the US. The voice of the people and majority supported marriage not just Mormons. We did everything right legally, ethically, politically and morally. So what happened? It started with an activist judge. A man who professionally should have recused himself started the chain of events that has led us to where we are now. The entire government of California, all branches, ignored and defied the will of the people by over turning a very simple definition of marriage. This emboldened the White House to then do the same thing to DOMA. It worked. Twenty years of work and effort to create laws to protect families, protect marriage and follow the law reversed in a much shorter amount of time. It is corruption, unethical behavior and lawlessness that reversed just laws that are now deemed unconstitutional. Politically how is anyone going to renew efforts to defend marriage when doing so has already and repeatedly been determined by the courts to be unconstitutional? The Supreme Court has determined that the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional. A renewed effort and law is pointless since there is now a legal precedent all courts can use to dismantle popular laws the majority can agree on by declaring these laws unenforcable politically from the bench. So now what? There is only one place left to fight for marriage. It is not at the ballot box or in the courts. It is in our individual lives to live the gospel of Jesus Christ. We did our civic duty. Now we need to do our family duties to show not only our children, but our communities through patient daily living why marriage is worth keeping sacred. Marriage is sacred. The sacred process of marriage is not just the act of marriage or ceremony. It starts in the home. Respect for women is the start. Dignity for men to preserver in adversity. A great marriage begins with a solid foundation rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Respect, dignity and then cooperation. That is the definition of marriage between a man and a woman. Respect for children, dignity for married couples and cooperation of the family both in public, but especially in private when no one else is looking. How is all this possible? Love at home. It is hard to achieve with the world clamoring to declare you unconstitutional as you support marriage as sacred between a man and a woman. As we endure to the end of this political season or to the end of our lives in this hopeless cause know that it is not hopeless for ourselves individually to show ourselves that marriage is sacred with love at home. :-)
SharonSeptember 7, 2014
I commit to stand up for marriage.
danielSeptember 7, 2014
If marriage was just a sacrament, I could agree with the premise of this article. However, it is also a legal contract between two people. Just as we would not say that gay people cannot buy property, then why say they cannot enter into a legal contract with one another as long as they are consenting adults with full faculties. If society required a civil union to legalize everything and then couples were free to pursue a religious ceremony as a sacrament, I think the argument would be moot.
KarenSeptember 6, 2014
What a compelling and much needed article! I applaud the author in bringing us such an important message. What surprises me is the lack of comments from other readers. If it were possible for me to attend the meetings in Utah, I would. I hope others who are capable of going will do so.
TanaSeptember 6, 2014
Thank you for your article, for your Voice, for your Righteous Stance. I appreciate you and others who find their Courage in such difficult times. God bless.
LaurieSeptember 6, 2014
Thank you, Wendy. One of the best articles I've ever read on standing for one man/one woman marriage. You helped me put into words what I know is true, and that will help me to stand for those convictions especially when they are challenged. I hope many, many members of the Church read this and re-think their unwillingness to love and respect ALL of God's children. It is possible to stand for marriage without offending or excluding people. Stand FOR your beliefs, but not AGAINST people who believe differently. It can (and must) be done.
jennifer ruebenSeptember 6, 2014
The social experience provided by your teacher friend in all its varieties has be discouraged and even ban from many school because of the very complex issues it does not successful address and the very real negative effect is has on some children. Just like this experience is more than it seems , the reasons why more Mormons are not standing up for traditional marriage is more complex and personal than the author chose to address. One big reason I will for identify myself with organized groups or attend rallies is the inability of such groups to separate negative statement about gays from the positive message of support for a very basic sacred eternal principle .
Cindy HuffakerSeptember 5, 2014
I had reposted a card on Facebook, "I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman." I also posted that I loved everyone, but that marriage is where we all came from. I thought it would be just an innocent gesture - Facebook took it down as being too controversial. Some LDS friends "unfriended" me. But one gay friend thought it was great and posted all of her family's treasured traditional wedding pictures. Standing for something means being surprised.
JoAnne W RobertsSeptember 5, 2014
Wendy, Your article spoke what is in my heart! Thank you for being heroic enough to speak out. You give me courage.
robin TeaSeptember 5, 2014
Marriage as given and commanded by Heavenly Father, we have a principle to live by. SSA do not have that principle nor live by it. They are only doing to protect their rights in obtaining the inheritance when their loved one dies. SSA thinks it is their right to marry when it is not and will not be accepted by the general public expecially God fearing people. We have been bullied by those who dare claim their rights to marry. That is not acceptable! We get slapped by the laws which we put there to protect us and yet when laws are reversed, those laws can go against us as well. There should be fairness and better understanding of how we can treat each other with respect and without fear of suppression and oppression from others. After all, this is a free country, we have choices we make and let the consequences follow. Yet there are those who do not respect the rights of others and this is where conflict come in. They want their own lives and their laws which are not agreeable to others, the Supreme Justice are not doing us favor by saying that everyone has rights but stop short of principles has given by our forefathers when they wrote up the constitution. They have their own agenda which are not always acceptable by the PEOPLE, for the PEOPLE, and of the PEOPLE. That is not right! They favor one or the other, disregarding the rights of others, the innocent.
Patty JohnsonSeptember 5, 2014
Thank you for this article. It is difficult to stand alone in what has now become an unpopular position--support for traditional marriage. I appreciate your thoughtful, level-headed comments. No name-calling is needed to make our point heard.
JulieSeptember 5, 2014
I think people are scared to use their voice in the democratic process because they will be labeled as "bigots" by the anti-traditional marriage advocates. The other reason is that they might be, sadly, lazy. Too busy to go up there for a few hours to defend the most important thing about our membership in the LDS Church (the central core doctrine of the plan of salvation). Apathy is so sad. Come on Utahns, show that you are not lazy and apathetic to standing for natural marriage and healthy families! I know the words "lazy" bring out the claws but what else could it be? Fear or laziness, right? I hope they prove us wrong :)
RicSeptember 5, 2014
An article that explains the conundrum we are in very well. Just as an example. The other day a district court upheld a marriage ban in Oregon, I think it was. I haven't seen one news article about that on any major news source. But when a marriage ban is overturned it is everywhere.
DavidSeptember 5, 2014
This article is right on. I have seen many of these reasons in myself for not standing up about marriage. The time is now, folks. The issue is here whether we like it or not! You can count me in at the rally.
Kimberly EllsSeptember 5, 2014
Fantastic article. Thank you for your compelling words. It truly is time to stand for the family without hesitation or apology. You clearly outline the very real and far-reaching effects gay marriage will have on our society and on our families. Thank you.
DavidSeptember 5, 2014
This article is right on. I have seen many of these reasons in myself for not standing up about marriage. The time is now, folks. The issue is here whether we like it or not! You can count me in at the rally.
DarlaGSeptember 4, 2014
I have no problem standing up for marriage. Great thoughts.
Adele KammeyerSeptember 4, 2014
Well said, and I wholeheartedly agree. I have participated in several events, but I need to step it up. Thank you.
KathrynSeptember 4, 2014
A very thoughtful essay. I hope we can all find ways to stand up for marriage. This movement happening in our country and in other parts of the world has and will continue to change our world. We don't know how our society will change, but we can look to other societies that embraced similar values and see what happened to them. We can choose our actions, but we can't choose what the outcome of those actions will be.
Nicholeen PeckSeptember 4, 2014
Huzzah! Great article. This is a complicated issue for many people, but the truths and the consequences should still be easy to see if we take time to look deep enough into the issue. The Stand For The Family Conference and the Rally are so needed right now. When we gather we will see that we are not alone and we will learn so much from the experts who study these issues deeply. I can't wait.
jewlswSeptember 4, 2014
Good for you Wendy, I totally agree! We will be there.
MStartupSeptember 4, 2014
Thank you so much for this article! What you said is exactly what I have felt for a while. Its not that I don't want to stand up for marriage but I do feel like those kids and peer pressure, so I don't say anything at all. I appreciate your insight and motivation to stand up!
KenSeptember 4, 2014
Municipal, state, and federal governments have already moved away from support of our traditional marriage and family life. Our efforts should be to maintain our standards and beliefs within the church without harassment and undue government and public interference, and recognize that SSA people that do not belong to our church have the same right to agency and choice that we have. If we can win them into the church and they can live God's standards through our love, support and understanding, good. But we can not withdraw that love and understanding if they choose a path of life in society which God does not accept. That is the position we have to convey and be sure that our society understands. We only have jurisdiction in our church government, and because other governments and organizations have opted to choose a path which is presently counter to God's as we understand it, we must accept the principle of agency as it applies to them and the aftermath of their choices at as they will apply to all of us, even as God does. Like Him, we must love and support others in every way we can. Any blessings SSA people forfeit is their choice. We must respect that. At present, we will not help them or ourselves or God, if we work in any other way. When, and if God wants us to work for the salvation of others in some other way, I trust He will let us know. And rallys that support our rights and freedoms are ok with me, if they do not move into an area that does not support others to make their own choices, as well.
Diane KunkelSeptember 4, 2014
Thank you for this extremely well-written article. I agree wholeheartedly and have a greater desire to be involved.
Judi shenemanSeptember 4, 2014
Sept 18, 7pm
MarySeptember 4, 2014
Excellent Article! Thank you so much for talking about this in such clear articulate terms. It is important for us to realise the consequences of this legal change as you have described, and be willing to defend and protect our pro-family culture.
dnaSeptember 4, 2014
Well said! This essay should make us all examine our own attitudes and actions. As Elder Nelson made clear recently, we have a duty to promote and defend marriage as ordained by the Lord-- between a man and a woman. At the same time we must treat all people with the love exemplified by the Savior. It is a difficult path in our society today, but it is the right one.
Jim KinseySeptember 4, 2014
The answer is simple. Many Mormons do not stand up for what they profess to believe because they believe in Christ and his divinity but they don't really believe Him. They don't really believe in the promised blessings the Lord has dictated in scripture and through the mouths of his prophets enough to put Him to the test. Malachi states: Prove me here with..." Well? They say they follow the prophets but don't have the courage to stand up and be counted. Gay marriage is a delicate issue and one that engenders hate and distrust, animosity and anger. But it is also 100% contrary to God's plan for us on this earth. He commanded Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply and replenish the earth. That cannot be done with same sex relationships. If you think I speak as one who has not personally felt the pain of homosexuality, I have a daughter who proclaims she is gay. My heart is broken and I will never cease loving her, but right is right and wrong is wrong. Hymn 237 says what we should do: Do what is right be faithful and fearless. Onward press onward the goal is in in sight. Eyes that are wet now ere long will be tearless. Blessing await you in doing what's right. Do what is right let the consequence follow. Battle for freedom in spirit and might; and with stout hearts look ye forth til tomorrow. God will protect you then do what is right. Hymn 27 says, "Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven." If those who came before us had not been true the faith, both politically and religiously we would not enjoy what we have now. It is time to stand up for what is right. Stand up and be counted. As Ben Franklin said, "if we do not hang together we shall certainly hang separately". And I am not talking about an earthly tribunal.
Laura BrothersonSeptember 4, 2014
Hi Wendy! Great article!! As a huge advocate for marriage (and especially strengthening them!) I just want you to know that I will be someone that will continue to stand with you for marriage. You are so right on in all of your explanations as to why so many don't speak up. We can be loving and still stand for marriage. It does take some courage though as you well explain. But it is just too important to not take a stand on an issue such as this at a time such as this!! You're not alone! :) ~Laura (StrengtheningMarriage.com)
Ethelyn L DwigansSeptember 4, 2014
I just put it on my timeline on Facebook
Ethelyn L DwigansSeptember 4, 2014
Is there a way to put this on Facebook?
NonnaSeptember 4, 2014
Wow! Just what I needed to hear. I have been thinking how subtle the Adversary has been to make evil good and good evil and how easy it is to fall into the trap. The Great and Spacious Building isn't just about wealth and pride. It is about being so spacious that all ideas fit inside it and are O K , even those that thwart God's plan.
CharlieBrown2292September 4, 2014
Very simply stated by Elder Neal A. Maxwell: "if everything is a matter of preference and nothing a matter of principle, then why not put Dracula in charge with the Blood Bank?" ... if feeling sexual attraction towards someone or something justifies engaging into sexual activity, then the concept of family will no longer exist, whether it be considered as the union of opposite-sex couples or not. Everyone will go after what feels good at the moment without consideration for the far-reaching implications of abandoning one's companion and innocent children. So love alone does not work if it's not matched by a sense of responsibility towards others. At least the LGBT community should be able to understand that.
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