I hate to rain on anyone's parade, but be cautious. There are stalkers and crazies at some of the LDS dances and firesides. And decades after you go on a few dates with one of these people, they still will not leave you alone, showing up at your family ward and forcing you to remove your phone number from the ward list.
I think the church made a big mistake in not keeping the older singles wards. Members there looked out for each other and the bishops refused to let people stay in the ward who misbehaved. No such luck in family wards. You just have to stop attending church to be safe.
LeslieFebruary 15, 2018
I also would like to put in a plug for Divorce Care. It's is a non-denominational Bible based program with specific topics each week to help navigate the ups and downs of separation/divorce. I am not aware of a program within the church to help with "seperation," the time when you are watching your family splintering in front of you- when you are in limbo regarding your marital status. Divorce Care has been AMAZING in my healing process through my separation and even after my divorce finalized. I hope as well that the church either adopts the Divorce Care curriculum or at least encourages people to attend the support group in their community. We need each other and Christ to heal our pains.
Sam CurtisFebruary 15, 2018
I met someone on the LDS singles online forum a few years after my 20 year marriage ended in divorce. His photo and bio seemed like he was a nice guy so we chatted back and forth for a while. I have two children so wanted to be sure of him before introducing them to him. My bishop contacted his ward and the following Sunday I was called to my bishop's office to find out that this man was still married and had left his family of six children alone with his wife to manage financially on her own. I found that three years after divorce did not prepare me for seeing the 'inner' person of those I wished to start a new relationship with. I also realized at the time that my children (10 year old boy and 4 year old daughter who is disabled) were still hurting from the loss of their father who now lived in another country. I also worked 12 hour shifts which added to the mix. It has now been more than a decade later and I have chosen to put my children first and bid my time. I am happy with myself and my career and I believe my children have benefited from my undivided attention as they grew up. Their father has chosen not to be a part of their lives so Elders in our ward have been excellent role models for my children.
SharenFebruary 15, 2018
I was divorced in 1986. I have been married since 1989. I don't believe I would have done very well "dating" in today's world.
CJ FoxFebruary 15, 2018
I have found the program called Divorce Care to be extremely helpful through separation, divorce and healing. It is a support group that uses pre-recorded lessons and daily scripture study to help people understand what is happening physically, emotionally and spiritually, and how to help themselves and their children recover from divorce. They help you understand what is going on and to calm down so you can focus on the important things. They give instruction so you will know when it is time in your life to persue new relationships and how to go about it in the Lord.
I wish our church would adopt it or encourage people to go to it, because it is good support. I have been in two marriages that didn’t work; I know that if I had this program after the first divorce, there would not have been a second divorce because I would have applied the principles I learned.
I am now healed and am preparing myself for marriage to an emotionally functional man now that I have learned to become that way myself.
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CathyFebruary 17, 2018
I hate to rain on anyone's parade, but be cautious. There are stalkers and crazies at some of the LDS dances and firesides. And decades after you go on a few dates with one of these people, they still will not leave you alone, showing up at your family ward and forcing you to remove your phone number from the ward list. I think the church made a big mistake in not keeping the older singles wards. Members there looked out for each other and the bishops refused to let people stay in the ward who misbehaved. No such luck in family wards. You just have to stop attending church to be safe.
LeslieFebruary 15, 2018
I also would like to put in a plug for Divorce Care. It's is a non-denominational Bible based program with specific topics each week to help navigate the ups and downs of separation/divorce. I am not aware of a program within the church to help with "seperation," the time when you are watching your family splintering in front of you- when you are in limbo regarding your marital status. Divorce Care has been AMAZING in my healing process through my separation and even after my divorce finalized. I hope as well that the church either adopts the Divorce Care curriculum or at least encourages people to attend the support group in their community. We need each other and Christ to heal our pains.
Sam CurtisFebruary 15, 2018
I met someone on the LDS singles online forum a few years after my 20 year marriage ended in divorce. His photo and bio seemed like he was a nice guy so we chatted back and forth for a while. I have two children so wanted to be sure of him before introducing them to him. My bishop contacted his ward and the following Sunday I was called to my bishop's office to find out that this man was still married and had left his family of six children alone with his wife to manage financially on her own. I found that three years after divorce did not prepare me for seeing the 'inner' person of those I wished to start a new relationship with. I also realized at the time that my children (10 year old boy and 4 year old daughter who is disabled) were still hurting from the loss of their father who now lived in another country. I also worked 12 hour shifts which added to the mix. It has now been more than a decade later and I have chosen to put my children first and bid my time. I am happy with myself and my career and I believe my children have benefited from my undivided attention as they grew up. Their father has chosen not to be a part of their lives so Elders in our ward have been excellent role models for my children.
SharenFebruary 15, 2018
I was divorced in 1986. I have been married since 1989. I don't believe I would have done very well "dating" in today's world.
CJ FoxFebruary 15, 2018
I have found the program called Divorce Care to be extremely helpful through separation, divorce and healing. It is a support group that uses pre-recorded lessons and daily scripture study to help people understand what is happening physically, emotionally and spiritually, and how to help themselves and their children recover from divorce. They help you understand what is going on and to calm down so you can focus on the important things. They give instruction so you will know when it is time in your life to persue new relationships and how to go about it in the Lord. I wish our church would adopt it or encourage people to go to it, because it is good support. I have been in two marriages that didn’t work; I know that if I had this program after the first divorce, there would not have been a second divorce because I would have applied the principles I learned. I am now healed and am preparing myself for marriage to an emotionally functional man now that I have learned to become that way myself.
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