Love your #8: Having an adventure buddy, friend, and lover around all the time is worth any minor frustrations. I also thought that the first year of marriage, while something of an adjustment, was not as hard as I thought it might be. I think a lot of was because I had gotten to know Mike pretty well when we were dating and I already knew most of the things that drove me crazy about him.
Marriage is indeed a shock and an adjustment in ways you can't anticipate, and the first year is definitely an eye-opener to things you didn't know you needed to change about yourself. But, man--much harder years are ahead. Marjorie Hinckley once said the first ten years of marriage are the hardest, and while I've only been married 12, I can attest to that. Childbirth, the newborn years, colic, postpartum depression, challenging children's personalities, unemployment, stints of living with either set of in-laws, moves, financial difficulties, starting over again and again and again...it asks more of you than you can give, which is why the Savior is an essential part of any marriage. I wouldn't trade what I've learned from those years, I wouldn't go back to live them again, and I am grateful those difficult years have given me a greater appreciation for my husband and his sacrifices and a more charitable love for him than I once possessed.
I've been married to my sweetheart for 37 years, and it's been a rollercoaster of joy and tough times. The important thing is that we are on it together. As you say, being together in something brings a strength to both to get through the hard times and extra joy to the great ones. You are so right that thinking before you speak harsh words does prevent unnecessary pain and damage to fragile hearts. Thank you for your wonderful article!
Funny...by far the first year was the easiest for me. It's gotten progressively harder as the years went on...#s 9 and 10 so far the hardest...but thanks to some changes we have made, I hope each year continues to get better.
It helps that you've always had a loving personality and that you picked the right man. However, the first year or even two are still a haze of loveliness. It's the fifth to tenth year's when it gets a little tougher. Just remember to keep up the same steps and always remember how it all started. By the fiftieth year, you can't imagine anything else. Always be able to forgive--yourself and each other.
Wonderful article, Mariah! i'm glad for the report as I remember your article going into marriage and I'm delighted that you are so insightful and happy a year later! You have a gift for writing so keep it up!
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