Some people are in abusive situations, and need help getting out. Sometimes that help is someone else reaching out and caring about them. There's a culture in the church that there is no reason to end a marriage. But sometimes there is. Not all reaching to others is wrong.
JDApril 27, 2020
This article should be printed again. If someone has difficulty with this process it's because they haven't experience it in their own life. It's basically a textbook example of how my spouse's infidelity happened. Thank you to this author.
Anon.October 6, 2016
Thank you, this is a very timely and specific alarm to every married LDS person who works closely with someone of the opposite sex, be it in the context of a ward or stake calling, a community project, or place of employment. It is so extremely easy to get caught up in these close relationships with someone who is not your spouse, and justify all of the time and travel spent together as a "necessity" in order to fulfill the responsibilities of the job or church calling.
I have had a few male friends who have gone down this path and repeatedly denied having had an "emotional affair" because there was no clear-cut "evidence" that there is in a physical affair (e.g. kissing or sexual intercourse).
An emotional affair is a greater danger and threat to a marriage, in my opinion, because it is much harder to recognize or prove an emotional affair than it is a physical sexual affair, and much easier to make excuses for.
WGCOctober 6, 2016
Great article! But I take exception with point 5. The problem (in my eyes) with using "addiction" to describe so many things is that it starts to be used to describe non-addictive behaviors—being addicted to oil, etc. "If you find yourself making excuses for continuing the relationship" you are not addicted! Addicted to what? You are infatuated, you are on the road to adultery (or already there, emotionally), but you are not addicted. Unless you are in point 9, but the illicit affection is a symptom of the pornography addiction, not an addiction itself.
Douglas BagleyOctober 5, 2016
Beautifully stated. Fits right in with 1 Cor. 10:13-14, I call it the "Flee Principle." Flee evil thoughts or desires quickly from your mind. This is one of your best articles. Thank you.
FFW BeijerlingOctober 5, 2016
I have some difficulty with "accidental road." Who turns the steering wheel but the driver ...
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SaraSeptember 19, 2020
Some people are in abusive situations, and need help getting out. Sometimes that help is someone else reaching out and caring about them. There's a culture in the church that there is no reason to end a marriage. But sometimes there is. Not all reaching to others is wrong.
JDApril 27, 2020
This article should be printed again. If someone has difficulty with this process it's because they haven't experience it in their own life. It's basically a textbook example of how my spouse's infidelity happened. Thank you to this author.
Anon.October 6, 2016
Thank you, this is a very timely and specific alarm to every married LDS person who works closely with someone of the opposite sex, be it in the context of a ward or stake calling, a community project, or place of employment. It is so extremely easy to get caught up in these close relationships with someone who is not your spouse, and justify all of the time and travel spent together as a "necessity" in order to fulfill the responsibilities of the job or church calling. I have had a few male friends who have gone down this path and repeatedly denied having had an "emotional affair" because there was no clear-cut "evidence" that there is in a physical affair (e.g. kissing or sexual intercourse). An emotional affair is a greater danger and threat to a marriage, in my opinion, because it is much harder to recognize or prove an emotional affair than it is a physical sexual affair, and much easier to make excuses for.
WGCOctober 6, 2016
Great article! But I take exception with point 5. The problem (in my eyes) with using "addiction" to describe so many things is that it starts to be used to describe non-addictive behaviors—being addicted to oil, etc. "If you find yourself making excuses for continuing the relationship" you are not addicted! Addicted to what? You are infatuated, you are on the road to adultery (or already there, emotionally), but you are not addicted. Unless you are in point 9, but the illicit affection is a symptom of the pornography addiction, not an addiction itself.
Douglas BagleyOctober 5, 2016
Beautifully stated. Fits right in with 1 Cor. 10:13-14, I call it the "Flee Principle." Flee evil thoughts or desires quickly from your mind. This is one of your best articles. Thank you.
FFW BeijerlingOctober 5, 2016
I have some difficulty with "accidental road." Who turns the steering wheel but the driver ...
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