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May 30, 2020

Comments | Return to Story

KimAugust 19, 2016

I agree with Jon's comment. MesaSmiles, there are some circumstances where one can forgive, but still choose to not have a relationship with the offender. We don't know why these women choose to not have a relationship with their brother but that is for them to decide with the help of Heavenly Father. He will judge if they are petty and unforgiving in holding their grudge or if that is the only way to have peace in their life. If the brother truly damaged their relationship, then they should be the ones to decide if he's changed (not going to repeat offense) and if they can move past the pain and hurt he caused them. Maybe MesaSmiles is fortunate to have never had a toxic person hurt you so deep that the only way to have peace is not have them in your life. Christ commanded us to forgive and love, but that doesn't mean allowing someone to mistreat you. You can only control you.

Jon WoodardAugust 19, 2016

I enjoyed this article. I have seen in my extended family situations where people have refused to see or be around other family members for long periods of time. This can appear hurtful and unforgiving, but sometimes severe trauma from the past, or ongoing mistreatment make it reasonable for a person to cut another out of their life. The risk is to high, the damage too great to risk allowing that person back in the lives of you and your family. We can forgive in our heart without getting close enough to embrace those who have hurt us.

MesasmilesAugust 19, 2016

I think there is one change that needs to be made in the question this wife asks. She says, "My sisters-in-law are wonderful people who have reared their children in the Gospel. They go to the temple and serve in callings." I would change that to say, "My sisters-in-law appear on the outside to be wonderful people . . ." This wife needs to be accepting, open, and forgiving. But I would not call anyone who stubbornly holds a grudge for years like this to be a "wonderful person." Whether the husband is an unrepentant offender or not, these sisters-in-law will not have peace in their own souls until they learn to forgive and forget.

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