The reason that you are still struggling with the effects of your divorce is because you have not resolved all of the issues that led to and came as a result of the divorce. You must resolve these problems or you will carry them into your next relationship. Doctor Laura Schesslinger has written a book called Ten Stupid things Men do to Mess up their lives, which is available on Amazon is very direct in addressing patterns that lead to bad relationships. Like attracts like. You are attracting troubled people because you are troubled and have not unburdened. Make up your mind to become healthy in all aspects of your life before taking on a new relationship. Healthy attracts healthy, Do not neglect your faith. The relationship you develop with Heavenly Father is something of your own making. Work at it. Read uplifting books. Be the very best dad you are capable of being. Seek out blessings, put your past failures behind you learn from them and make up your mind not to repeat them. Stay busy remodel, garden, and stay engaged in worthwhile accomplishments. Pray, Pray and continue to pray it will resolve in time. Never give up on love there is someone out there waiting for you to come find them. Ask the Lord to prepare you for that day...
One thing is for certain! You have the possibility of a bright future and can still reach the highest degree within the Celestial Kingdom, regardless of what some culture bound cretins, or pseudo therapists are telling you or not. You sound as if you have lost interest in you and in managing you ? not OK.! Don't buy in to the negative feedback. Get back on the trail my friend. Put yourself on Nephi's SEAL team training and get ripped, all the way around! DO whatever you have to! Walk away from the "war zone" and journal your experiences. Examine these dispassionately and fix what you can, that's learning. You won't go there again. You are more than that. You want better!!!!! There are greater skirmishes ahead. Failure is not an option...ever! Turn on some Rocky music and P90X and make some plans. Feelings are indicators that something is right or wrong and not punishment. Use your feelings wisely!
The advice given is excellent. Common children were not mentioned. If there are children, make sure that you are seeing them as much as you can. Do not let your former spouse push you out of their lives. If she is doing such, this is as very bad form of spousal and child abuse called Parental Alienation Syndrome. It can kill a man if he is the target, unless he heeds the advice given in the column.
When I went through a very messy divorce many years ago, the counselor told me, “Whoever loves the least, controls the relationship, and in a divorce, whoever loves the most, hurts the most.” If your former spouse does not hurt at all, it means that she has not loved you for a long time.
When examining yourself as the why it happened, it is ok to place blame on your spouse where it duly fits. Do not accept responsibility for her choices and be down about it. You just be responsible for your choices.
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