Your Hardest Family Question: How soon should I start dating after my spouse’s passing?
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Corey D.May 28, 2023
Constantly amazed but I guess in some ways not surprised by the questions presented for this column. As to this particular sister she said something that is key in all of this, she says she has taken control of her life, that is good. After watching these scenarios play out and so many 2nd or 3rd or more marriages fail I would say to this sister, go slow with the dating, enjoy life, go on vacation by yourself or with a friend or child or grandchild. Serve as a temple worker or service missionary or do community service. And here's one that might seem counterintuitive at first thought, don't limit your socialization to just members of the church. I can relate several stories of sisters I know, one in particular and this is a happy but sad story at same time, a woman I know, good faithful member of the church, her husband also a member of the church but who cheated on her multiple times, finally in her fifties (her own children had been telling her to divorce their dad) ended her marriage. She met a former classmate from high school at a reunion, he was not a member of the church, they ended up getting married and in her own words "he treated her like a queen". Here's the sad part but also a good part, one day they were at the dinner table when he slumped over, he had had a massive heart attack and died, can you imagine going through that ! But here is the blessing in disguise, when I talked to her several months after this, she was getting everything ready to do his temple ordinances and I'm pretty sure intended to be sealed to him.
AlanMay 26, 2023
My second wife told me of troublesome experiences dating as an older person. There are some fine older men out there but there is a reason some men are divorced. Don't be in a hurry and seek guidance from the Spirit before making a commitment.
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