Amazing! Your question sounds as if I had written it myself. Obviously Dr. Steurer has a stable and working marriage and relationship with his wife and hasn’t experienced the loneliness that develops over years of this type of treatment. I have tried kindness, patience, suggestions and communicating skills for so many years that yes, I finally do feel unloved and unlovable (53 years of marriage) and have given up on having a fulfilling commitment together. My testimony is solid that I am worthwhile in the Savior’s eyes, but it doesn’t preclude the need for human validation and attention from my mate on this side of the veil. At this stage in life I am praying for endurance and long-suffering and a better suited, more compatible partner for the eternities. The Savior’s comfort attends me daily—that’s all I can hope for for now, and am grateful and blessed for that.
Are you serious?!? She asked how to reestablish connection to her self-absorbed husband, and your answer was, "improve your relationship with Jesus Christ and everything will magically fall into place"? What if her self-worth is just fine, what if she already has a strong relationship with Jesus and her Heavenly Parents? Then what? I have read your column for years and generally agree with or learn from your answers, but this one is not helpful at all. It sounds like victim-blaming, and gives NO counsel for connecting with her spouse beyond a vague 'I'm sure you'll figure it out....'
Check out Dr ramani on you tube, she may also help you see if this is the type of relationship you are in and give you some tools.
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