I totally agree with Geoff's suggestion. We had custody of our three grandchildren for 4.5 years during our sons bittter divorce. His wife was an alcoholic/drug addict. she falsely accused our son of abuse and there was no evidence, and went to jail for a second dui, and lost their house due to prostitution after the judge awarded it to her. However, she left the state and her family helped her get a house and an attorney and she got the kids. We haven't spoken to the girls in almost 5 years. They wre 2,5 & 10 when we got them and almost 7, 11 and 15 when we lost them. The oldest, our grandson, was abused the worst because he openly wanted to leave and come back and he eventually ran away successfully and finally got an interview with the judge at 16 and never has to see her again. But those two girls have been raised by their sick, disfunctional mother and we have no right to even speak with them. It is better to show the tough love to the grown children when you have to and save the next generation. We don't regret for one minute anything we did in those 5 years we took care of those kids and never will, even though the court system failed them and us.
I'm wondering if her other children could become involved in the children's lives and relieve this good woman of their everyday care so she can concentrate on her terminally ill husband and herself to some degree. At her pace, she may wear out physically as well. Where would they be then?
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