Your Hardest Family Question: Even though I hurt my wife, don’t my needs still matter?
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Comments | Return to Story
Maryann TaylorAugust 16, 2021
This letter is absolutely mind boggling. I cannot conceive of someone worrying about their own "needs" after betraying their spouse in the worst possible way. His attitude is pouring salt into her wounds. When he can be more concerned about HER feelings and recognize what he has done to her, MAYBE he will be at a STARTING point to receive her forgiveness.
DonAugust 13, 2021
When you cheat on your wife, you should have no expectation that she will do anything other than demand you move out, dump you, divorce you, request a cancellation of sealing, etc. Anything else is on her terms. YOU ARE THE ADULTERER. You can't whine your way out of the situation you behaved your way into.
@WalkinghandinhandwithgodAugust 13, 2021
Thank you for this! I have so much compassion for betrayers, they really are victims in their own right, but it is on them to grow in the ways they have failed to develop over the years. Yes growing hurts, yes, it means learning not to rely on others for validation and a sense of self, yes it means increasing your level of tolerance for discomfort and vulnerability, it means becoming less selfish and more caring, it means relying on the Lord to help you deal with your hurts, to see her anger for what it is—pain and fear, and to be able to offer compassion, comfort, reassurance, and love unfeigned.
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