Hi Tiago,
I hope this doesn't sound like I'm making light of your SSA--I only know from one friend (a gay convert who embraced the gospel view of heterosexual marriage, who now is marred and has two kids), who says that until he dies, he will be a gay man...he fully believes, as do I as this is the ONLY thing that make s sense to me, that his spirit is NOT gay, and therefore he is making his choices based on ETERNITY, and not this very short life...he believes that he will be able to find happiness here with his wife, and be fully free to love her in the eternities. I asked him if his daily life was a battle. Knowing that I had quit smoking and drinking to become active in the church, he asked me if my life had joy or if it was a constant battle for me. Not the same comparison, I know, but his point was valid. My choice to live the gospel standards became easier over time. Even now, years later, once in a while I see someone smoking or drinking a glass of wine, and I have a moment of missing the "good old days"...but then I remember all the great things I have in my new life, and eternity becomes that much more important than this temporary life...he agreed, and said it was a bit harder to turn around his sexual thoughts (he joked he'd never again be able to attend a Justin Timberlake concert), and everyday there's at least one impure thought he still chases away about some cute guy that walks past him on the street--to which I said I have the same darn problem, as I'm straight and married!! We all have issues and trials...some are harder than others. But we all must obey the same laws of God. I am grateful for people like you, and my friend who have the courage to choose eternity over the empty happiness of this temporary life. Good luck to you Tiago, and stay strong!
TiagoJune 28, 2014
I agree with Kathy.
I do wish that that Janet would be very precise about what she is talking about.
If her message is that people who experience SSA have the opportunity to live faithfully within their values and don't need to accept the "gay" label, this is true and a positive message.
If her message is that she personally has felt therapy has helped her decrease romantic attraction to the same sex and increase attraction to the opposite sex, that is a useful anecdote that may help some people. Of course, it would be unfair to assume that other people would always or must necessarily have the same experience.
As a faithful, devoted member of the church who experiences SSA and has never broken the law of chastity, the most helpful realization for me has been to understand that I may experience SSA for the rest of my life and to develop faith, support, and coping tools to be able to live faithful while dealing with SSA rather than focusing my energy on the goal of developing attraction to the opposite sex, which for me personally does not seem likely.
Kathy BaldockJune 26, 2014
DO make SURE to ask her what she means by "straight lifestyle?" Ask her if she is still homosexually attracted. People can life in a behavior and not change their attractions at all, especially when their livelihood depends on it.
TiagoJune 24, 2014
Janet seems to have made powerful changes in her life and I applaud her for being able to escape abuse, drugs, and lifestyle choices that didnt' fit her values.
This article says her life provides compelling evidence that the human spirit can overcome any life-controlling issue. While the human spirit is powerful, I would edit to say that the Atonement of Jesus Christ and His grace is what allows us to overcome and to bear the burdens of mortality.
I am nervous about the applied take-away from Janet's story. This article suggests that her story should guide anyone else dealing with same-sex attraction and the political discussion around same-sex marriage.
As an active, faithful member of the church who experiences same-sex attraction, I am concerned when about our discourse on this topic. Janet Boyne's ministry provides one person's story, but is not where I would go for the only absolute truth on this topic. The LDS church has an entire website discussing same-sex attraction where our modern prophets clearly state that the experience of same-sex attraction is a complicated reality, is not a choice, and for many people will not go away in this life. Obviously, we can and ought to control our actions and our concious thoughts, but there is no spiritual, therapuetic, or scientific process to change fundamental sexual orientation. This means that even the most faithful and devoted members of the church who experience same-gender attraction may never experience romantic attraction to someone of the opposite gender in this life.
Sometimes in an effort to make political and moral dilemmas simple we imagine simple solutions--like saying that LGBT people are making a choice and simply need to more faith or willpower. The reality is not that simple.
The good news is that God can deal with complexity. He knows better than anyone the injustice of this life and He provides a way for each of us to return to Him. As we try to be like Him, we should learn to deal with difficult things and complex issues, including SSA. We should listen to the stories and experiences of all our brothers and sisters--not just those that reinforce our current worldview. I encourage anyone interested in learning more about the experiences of active Latter-day Saints dealing with SSA to look at the church website mormonsandgays.org.
Diane KunkelJune 21, 2014
Thank you for informing us about this. I have not heard of Janet Boynes and her transformation story. It is good to know there are people who are boldly telling another side. I hope people come out to support her!
vickieJune 20, 2014
Im sad she had to go through all these things but God creates miracles from bad things sometimes to help others...this is very inspiring..
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KirstyJuly 1, 2014
Hi Tiago, I hope this doesn't sound like I'm making light of your SSA--I only know from one friend (a gay convert who embraced the gospel view of heterosexual marriage, who now is marred and has two kids), who says that until he dies, he will be a gay man...he fully believes, as do I as this is the ONLY thing that make s sense to me, that his spirit is NOT gay, and therefore he is making his choices based on ETERNITY, and not this very short life...he believes that he will be able to find happiness here with his wife, and be fully free to love her in the eternities. I asked him if his daily life was a battle. Knowing that I had quit smoking and drinking to become active in the church, he asked me if my life had joy or if it was a constant battle for me. Not the same comparison, I know, but his point was valid. My choice to live the gospel standards became easier over time. Even now, years later, once in a while I see someone smoking or drinking a glass of wine, and I have a moment of missing the "good old days"...but then I remember all the great things I have in my new life, and eternity becomes that much more important than this temporary life...he agreed, and said it was a bit harder to turn around his sexual thoughts (he joked he'd never again be able to attend a Justin Timberlake concert), and everyday there's at least one impure thought he still chases away about some cute guy that walks past him on the street--to which I said I have the same darn problem, as I'm straight and married!! We all have issues and trials...some are harder than others. But we all must obey the same laws of God. I am grateful for people like you, and my friend who have the courage to choose eternity over the empty happiness of this temporary life. Good luck to you Tiago, and stay strong!
TiagoJune 28, 2014
I agree with Kathy. I do wish that that Janet would be very precise about what she is talking about. If her message is that people who experience SSA have the opportunity to live faithfully within their values and don't need to accept the "gay" label, this is true and a positive message. If her message is that she personally has felt therapy has helped her decrease romantic attraction to the same sex and increase attraction to the opposite sex, that is a useful anecdote that may help some people. Of course, it would be unfair to assume that other people would always or must necessarily have the same experience. As a faithful, devoted member of the church who experiences SSA and has never broken the law of chastity, the most helpful realization for me has been to understand that I may experience SSA for the rest of my life and to develop faith, support, and coping tools to be able to live faithful while dealing with SSA rather than focusing my energy on the goal of developing attraction to the opposite sex, which for me personally does not seem likely.
Kathy BaldockJune 26, 2014
DO make SURE to ask her what she means by "straight lifestyle?" Ask her if she is still homosexually attracted. People can life in a behavior and not change their attractions at all, especially when their livelihood depends on it.
TiagoJune 24, 2014
Janet seems to have made powerful changes in her life and I applaud her for being able to escape abuse, drugs, and lifestyle choices that didnt' fit her values. This article says her life provides compelling evidence that the human spirit can overcome any life-controlling issue. While the human spirit is powerful, I would edit to say that the Atonement of Jesus Christ and His grace is what allows us to overcome and to bear the burdens of mortality. I am nervous about the applied take-away from Janet's story. This article suggests that her story should guide anyone else dealing with same-sex attraction and the political discussion around same-sex marriage. As an active, faithful member of the church who experiences same-sex attraction, I am concerned when about our discourse on this topic. Janet Boyne's ministry provides one person's story, but is not where I would go for the only absolute truth on this topic. The LDS church has an entire website discussing same-sex attraction where our modern prophets clearly state that the experience of same-sex attraction is a complicated reality, is not a choice, and for many people will not go away in this life. Obviously, we can and ought to control our actions and our concious thoughts, but there is no spiritual, therapuetic, or scientific process to change fundamental sexual orientation. This means that even the most faithful and devoted members of the church who experience same-gender attraction may never experience romantic attraction to someone of the opposite gender in this life. Sometimes in an effort to make political and moral dilemmas simple we imagine simple solutions--like saying that LGBT people are making a choice and simply need to more faith or willpower. The reality is not that simple. The good news is that God can deal with complexity. He knows better than anyone the injustice of this life and He provides a way for each of us to return to Him. As we try to be like Him, we should learn to deal with difficult things and complex issues, including SSA. We should listen to the stories and experiences of all our brothers and sisters--not just those that reinforce our current worldview. I encourage anyone interested in learning more about the experiences of active Latter-day Saints dealing with SSA to look at the church website mormonsandgays.org.
Diane KunkelJune 21, 2014
Thank you for informing us about this. I have not heard of Janet Boynes and her transformation story. It is good to know there are people who are boldly telling another side. I hope people come out to support her!
vickieJune 20, 2014
Im sad she had to go through all these things but God creates miracles from bad things sometimes to help others...this is very inspiring..
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