We've had to go through this with all four of our children. As I've watched each one decide to ignore our guidance and teaching, I've tried to separate my love for them from my disappointment in their choices. The pain of watching a daughter move from one bad marriage to another has been heartbreaking, but we have always been there to love and give emotional support when things fall apart. These strongly independent spirits are given to us for a reason, and after we have done what we can, we must let them experience consequences and pain, so that they will eventually learn to distinguish good from evil. Our oldest has finally learned, and has become a temple attending, faithful member and daughter. I have hope that the rest of them will follow suit in their, and the Lord's, good time. The Lord will not leave us bereft of our children, but they have to learn on their own how to choose.
Some good sound advice there Geoff.
I hope they are able to put it into practise. Not easy to do but so much better than having a broken/non existent relationship wth this couple and future grandchildren.
You gave excellent advice! I love everything you said, but especially "The best thing you can do is accept the fact that your days of managing your daughter are over and that it's time to learn how to build a relationship with her..." That is such a hard transition for many parents to make! As a mother of an 18 year old, I've been making that transition myself. I want to be part of his support system, but his choices are his alone to make. (hopefully with Heavenly Father's guidance)
Thank you..I SO NEEDED to read this today. A similar situation is unfolding in my home, and it has given me new insights into what the future can hold. BUT,,,,it is still so hard to watch a train wreck...and not be able to stop the carnage.
The author missed the point that the parents feel the daughter is punishing them for their prior disapproval of her boyfriend-turned-fianc
One thing that generally works for me, which can add to this, I think, is to ask sincerely to see what it is that Jesus loved enough about this person to be willing to die for him or her. Gradually I begin to see what those qualities are, and I can come to love the person with no pretense.
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