I think it would have been a more helpful question if you would have given more detail about why she thinks she's being treated like his mother. I mean, I have to pick up more after my husband than my two kids. And when my husband is sick, he's a lot more work than they are too! Is this what she is talking about?
vickieNovember 22, 2013
this was a good article..I can see myself in this a bit. my husband and I have been married for 44yrs and raised 5 kids. we are on an equal level with each other..I use to think he was way above me in inteligence...over the years I have learned we all have strengths and weaknesses. I have a problem with my husbands weakness and it is in managing money. His father died when he was 7 yrs old and later his mother remarried and the person she married wasnt a good example of being a father..my husband was never taught how to manage money well. he does good with big business money but not home money..I however had two parents and they taught me well how to do that. one would think that my husband was lucky to have a wife who wasnt a spend thrift because if that was the case we would be in debt forever. when we first married I didnt know he was like this..over time after getting into financial trouble I realized what was happening and had to take over...we fight constantly over it...he doesnt pay attention to how he is spending and has expensive hobbies and just gets what he wants..he works and I dont..but I manage the money. His mother is the same way..she doesnt pay attention to how she spends..its too carefree for me. well, he is angry at me all the time..and Im not comfortable with what he does moneywise..and when we talk..he now thinks everything has to do with money...it doesnt...this problem doesnt help us have a really good relationship...I try to lay back and let the Lord take over and I find I cant...because every time my husband does..he ruins everything ..he knows it and then I have to take over again...I make him account to me what he is spending...and when he does..he gets angry..he has anger issues besides all that. A shrink I went to helped me see that his anger issue comes from when he was 7 and his dad died...its at that point they learn to deal with anger..I even asked my shrink what I should do and he said..someone has to be responsible in the family...so he told me to figure a way of managing the money that doesnt make him feel threatened...we started a green book where we put in the book what we get and what we owe...we kept that up for years while we had the kids ..it taught them some good lessons..but he doesnt want to do it now since they are gone because he doesnt want me keeping track of him ...he started us having an allowance..and he spends his allowance right and left...I hold him to it...I still have mine over 5yrs.....I dont feel I need things to fill my life...but he does and finds he needs hobbies that cause him to spend money...this is a rift between us and we could be much closer if we didtn have this problem...Im 62 and he is 66...because of this..I went through 3 episodes of major depression and anxiety...I got burned out after 7 yrs of marriage..it was hard but I stayed and decided to work through it..his anger is still there though and we still have the same problems...
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S RogersNovember 23, 2013
I think it would have been a more helpful question if you would have given more detail about why she thinks she's being treated like his mother. I mean, I have to pick up more after my husband than my two kids. And when my husband is sick, he's a lot more work than they are too! Is this what she is talking about?
vickieNovember 22, 2013
this was a good article..I can see myself in this a bit. my husband and I have been married for 44yrs and raised 5 kids. we are on an equal level with each other..I use to think he was way above me in inteligence...over the years I have learned we all have strengths and weaknesses. I have a problem with my husbands weakness and it is in managing money. His father died when he was 7 yrs old and later his mother remarried and the person she married wasnt a good example of being a father..my husband was never taught how to manage money well. he does good with big business money but not home money..I however had two parents and they taught me well how to do that. one would think that my husband was lucky to have a wife who wasnt a spend thrift because if that was the case we would be in debt forever. when we first married I didnt know he was like this..over time after getting into financial trouble I realized what was happening and had to take over...we fight constantly over it...he doesnt pay attention to how he is spending and has expensive hobbies and just gets what he wants..he works and I dont..but I manage the money. His mother is the same way..she doesnt pay attention to how she spends..its too carefree for me. well, he is angry at me all the time..and Im not comfortable with what he does moneywise..and when we talk..he now thinks everything has to do with money...it doesnt...this problem doesnt help us have a really good relationship...I try to lay back and let the Lord take over and I find I cant...because every time my husband does..he ruins everything ..he knows it and then I have to take over again...I make him account to me what he is spending...and when he does..he gets angry..he has anger issues besides all that. A shrink I went to helped me see that his anger issue comes from when he was 7 and his dad died...its at that point they learn to deal with anger..I even asked my shrink what I should do and he said..someone has to be responsible in the family...so he told me to figure a way of managing the money that doesnt make him feel threatened...we started a green book where we put in the book what we get and what we owe...we kept that up for years while we had the kids ..it taught them some good lessons..but he doesnt want to do it now since they are gone because he doesnt want me keeping track of him ...he started us having an allowance..and he spends his allowance right and left...I hold him to it...I still have mine over 5yrs.....I dont feel I need things to fill my life...but he does and finds he needs hobbies that cause him to spend money...this is a rift between us and we could be much closer if we didtn have this problem...Im 62 and he is 66...because of this..I went through 3 episodes of major depression and anxiety...I got burned out after 7 yrs of marriage..it was hard but I stayed and decided to work through it..his anger is still there though and we still have the same problems...
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