I too feel this article is presenting an idealized and simplistic marriage relationship. Great for those who can but maybe not for most. That's just how life is. For those like my inactive daughter & son-in-law they have the time and money and plan for the next big thrill (jumping off bridges, exotic meals,motorcycle rides though USA and Europe, etc. etc.) since there are no children to interfere with their time or money and attention. My married son however has found the opportunity to have fun skiing with his children 8,6, &2. All adore it as he works with them on a Saturday while mom gets a much needed break. I don't think the marriage is suffering in that area because it's not "mom's thing".
And after several years of marriage my older daughter's husband sold his boatd slowly puttting the fishing trips on a back burner to be able to give his budding family the needed fathers help especially since he spent most the week working out of state. To say hobbies don't often take a back seat after marriage is unrealistic. I feel perhaps most YMOMA really don't want to grow up (peter pan syndrome) and give up a self-centered focus for something that takes them to a new level of self sacrifice.
Can there be fun after marriage? Yes, but in perspective after all.
Greg CranerApril 23, 2013
Why did they not learn from their parents that life begins with marriage? Every sunset (sunrise, activity etc) is better when shared with your spouse.
BarbApril 23, 2013
Statistically married men have higher income than single men of the same age. Want to make more money? Get married!
ScottApril 23, 2013
"The only reason a YMOMA would have to give up something he enjoyed before marriage, once he got married, is if the pastime was unhealthy in the first place." Uh, no. That might be true in the idealized world you describe, where each spouse is devoted to making the marriage work by, among other things, accommodating the other's interests, but that doesn't always happen the way it should. My wife (now ex) couldn't have cared less about skiing or golf, and so I rarely skied or golfed, after doing both regularly before marriage. I already liked the stuff she liked, so there was no conflict there. But the assertion that the "only" reason for giving up an activity after marriage is that it was unhealthy in the first place doesn't seem to take account of the realities of some marriages.
MichelleApril 23, 2013
It doesn't take a Ph.D. in behavioral psychology to understand why these men fear having to give up previously cherished activities. They can see it's a dollar equation. Transitioning from the inexpensive bachelor life to a married couple existence is costly, and frivolous activities (like hitting the slopes every weekend) often must get squeezed out for necessities like food and rent. Add the possibility of children into the equation and it immediately becomes obvious that paying for diapers and doctor visits will preclude purchasing gas for hiking trips. This article left me shaking my head thinking "Duh! It's the economy, stupid!"
Inari no kitsuneApril 23, 2013
Multiplayer video games can also be enjoyed with loved ones who don't live in the same physical area.
Comments | Return to Story
RosieApril 25, 2013
I too feel this article is presenting an idealized and simplistic marriage relationship. Great for those who can but maybe not for most. That's just how life is. For those like my inactive daughter & son-in-law they have the time and money and plan for the next big thrill (jumping off bridges, exotic meals,motorcycle rides though USA and Europe, etc. etc.) since there are no children to interfere with their time or money and attention. My married son however has found the opportunity to have fun skiing with his children 8,6, &2. All adore it as he works with them on a Saturday while mom gets a much needed break. I don't think the marriage is suffering in that area because it's not "mom's thing". And after several years of marriage my older daughter's husband sold his boatd slowly puttting the fishing trips on a back burner to be able to give his budding family the needed fathers help especially since he spent most the week working out of state. To say hobbies don't often take a back seat after marriage is unrealistic. I feel perhaps most YMOMA really don't want to grow up (peter pan syndrome) and give up a self-centered focus for something that takes them to a new level of self sacrifice. Can there be fun after marriage? Yes, but in perspective after all.
Greg CranerApril 23, 2013
Why did they not learn from their parents that life begins with marriage? Every sunset (sunrise, activity etc) is better when shared with your spouse.
BarbApril 23, 2013
Statistically married men have higher income than single men of the same age. Want to make more money? Get married!
ScottApril 23, 2013
"The only reason a YMOMA would have to give up something he enjoyed before marriage, once he got married, is if the pastime was unhealthy in the first place." Uh, no. That might be true in the idealized world you describe, where each spouse is devoted to making the marriage work by, among other things, accommodating the other's interests, but that doesn't always happen the way it should. My wife (now ex) couldn't have cared less about skiing or golf, and so I rarely skied or golfed, after doing both regularly before marriage. I already liked the stuff she liked, so there was no conflict there. But the assertion that the "only" reason for giving up an activity after marriage is that it was unhealthy in the first place doesn't seem to take account of the realities of some marriages.
MichelleApril 23, 2013
It doesn't take a Ph.D. in behavioral psychology to understand why these men fear having to give up previously cherished activities. They can see it's a dollar equation. Transitioning from the inexpensive bachelor life to a married couple existence is costly, and frivolous activities (like hitting the slopes every weekend) often must get squeezed out for necessities like food and rent. Add the possibility of children into the equation and it immediately becomes obvious that paying for diapers and doctor visits will preclude purchasing gas for hiking trips. This article left me shaking my head thinking "Duh! It's the economy, stupid!"
Inari no kitsuneApril 23, 2013
Multiplayer video games can also be enjoyed with loved ones who don't live in the same physical area.
ADD A COMMENT