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February 21, 2024

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Jim JenkinsApril 17, 2013

Thanks for this article. Comments like "He's in a better place," "It was God's will," "Everything happens for a reason," She was needed on the other side,:" etc. do not really help but are often offered by those who mean well. We don't know the answer to why a person passes at a particular time, and cannot know if it was "planned" by God or just a circumstance of this mortal life, which is filled with illness, accidents, and other adversity. President Kimball gave an excellent talk on this subject titled "Death--Tragedy or Destiny." I recommend it. He pointed out that we know so little of God's mind, yet attempt to judge Him, or blame Him for all tragedy.

LeahApril 17, 2013

Great article! I, too, lost a brother at the tender age of 22 - and then my son when he was 15. Those losses can be very tough to process and as life goes on, there are always more losses. I would like to add that I couldn't cope with small talk - when people would drop by to "comfort" and then talk about trivialities. I was too distraught to participate and thought they were insensitive. But then, people get nervous, don't know what to say and blurt out the most awful things. Our family makes note of the worst of it and eventually it gives us a smile. It would seem macabre to list the "smile-worthy" comments, but I do think part of the burden of grieving is extending compassion to those well-meaning but awkward efforts.

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