The key issue here is the safety of the children and they are NOT safe in this environment. I hope this man will follow the advice given and get help NOW. Her violence is a very serious issue. How does he know she is not inflicting violence on the children when he is not present? I would also contact a lawyer and seek full custody of these children with a restraining order until this woman seeks professional help and is recovered from her violent tendencies.
How much verbal and physical abuse should one person take from another?
Two years ago I made a solid resolve that if a person, any person, treats me in an insulting or demeaning manner, I would let them know immediately that it is NOT all right and that I would not tolerate it. I’m so glad I did!
How much abuse should one person tolerate from another? NONE!
You are not a narcissist. My mother was a narcissist and behaved like your wife. I don't know if she is a narcissist, but you definitely are not. The fact that you are examining your own motives and behaviors proves that. I hope you're able to extricate yourself and your children from this situation.
March. 13, 2021
Could it be possible that this is a one sided view of an abusive situation? She may be responding to her husbands subtle abusiveness to her by demeaning her in front of others with derogatory humor or questioning her knowledge on a certain subject or any other way of making her fell less than she is in order to make himself feel superior.
She sounds like she needs counseling and/or psychiatric intervention.
I grew up with an abusive mother--screaming, blaming, manipulating, hitting--and in 5th grade started asking my dad why we didn't leave her. He didn't want to break his covenants, but as a kid I really didn't want to be around her anymore.
It would have been better for me as a child to be in a different home. "Staying together for the sake of the kids" can be far worse than removing them from a dangerous, mentally ill mother (and she sounds mentally ill).
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