It is too bad that in a church where marraige has been placed on the highest of all platforms, many churchmembers do not see marraige as anything but a worldly arrangement that they can reject whenever they are unhappy and disappointed. Like the rest of the world, we put individual happiness ahead the relationship on which the rest of society is based, In my opinion, the husband shouldn't have left for any reason, but neither should the wife be so ready to dump him because of it. My hope is that at least one of them gets committed to the marraige and tries to salvage it.
I've been interested to read the comments regarding this situation, different angles on the scenario. Whatever went on with the husband it was strong enough for him to leave and then have no contact. I've been married for 50 years and my guess was an affair. Now that's burned out and he's back apparently thinking he can just go on as normal. In the meantime, the wife has been t-boned and left as a wreck on the side of the road. I've seen this several times in my life, believe it or not. The reality is that it will take FIVE good years for him to get himself straightened out to the point where she can actually trust him again, and that's IF he can do the work needed. Legal counsel is essential for utmost protection as well as counseling for her own mental health, and without prayer and guidance from the Spirit the road is steep indeed.
You cannot trust this man. Whatever his positive traits are, he is still a dishonest liar---and will remain so, unless and until sincere repentance takes place. Please don't make decisions about this without involving your bishop. And his repentance does not mean you should take him back---it merely means he has taken a vital step for himself---not for you. You deserve happiness, too.
I have been in this same situation but as a Man. To say that Men never change is incorrect. It can be both sexes. In my case it was affairs that she had after 25 years of marriage. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Only you know what you have to do to protect yourself. Don't stay if it will be unsafe for you. Get lots of help. Know you are not alone. Trust is very hard to earn back.
Without having more details, it appears this marriage was over before he left--a spouse does not walk out of a healthy covenant marriage and have no contact for 6 months out of the blue. There must have been other red flags showing that he can't be trusted before this. Him leaving is the end. I would also advise her to work with her lawyer, continue on the path to divorce and carve out some happiness for herself. If she stays in this marriage there will be more heartache heaped upon the trust that is already destroyed. I hope she has the courage to move on and that she knows she deserves better and can find happiness with her own healthy choices.
I'm going to express the thought that everyone is going to disagree with. None of us know what went on behind the closed doors of this marriage. Yes, he left, but was he driven out? Did he leave to protect his sanity? Sometimes God-fearing men have to protect themselves, too. Did he claim midlife issues simply to keep the peace? We as readers do not know. Yes, this woman needs to protect her interests, but there is still too much we as readers do not know. I do hope and pray there is some serious marriage counseling going on!
I feel he needs to explain himself on a much deeper depth than midlife crisis. If that means he left you for a younger woman and now she kicked him out, let him stew in his own juice. I certainly would not trust him again. I have experienced in my life that men never change. Only the gospel can change them if they sincerely repent. But if he was a God fearing man before, he would never have abandoned you in the first place. Of course it all depends how he behaves if you put him on probation for 6 months. I would certainly not buy him anything or let him in my house. He owes you lots... you don't owe him anything. An act like that would mean you forgive him just because he is back. I don't think he deserves forgiveness so easy. And of course, ask Heavenly Father.! My best wishes! Dora ❤❤❤
I hope this woman will immediately take the advice in this article to see a lawyer NOW. She needs to protect herself financially and find out what her options are. Her husband's comment that his abandonment of her was a "midlife crisis" is a very poor excuse for his behavior, and suggests he feels no remorse or personal accountability for his extreme cruelty to her. It would be very difficult for me to take back a spouse who had completely cut me off for 6 months. That is a very long time to abandon your spouse and to make absolutely no attempt to make contact. I hope she will get the emotional support she needs and prepare herself for the very real possibility of this marriage ending.
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