Many LDS counselors seem to be adverse to acknowledging a Cluster B Personality Disorder is in the works. They seem to see it as "labeling" instead of the dangerous situation it can be for the spouse and children.
Covert narcissism is real, but the APA hasn't studied it. It is not in the diagnostic manual. Having been married to a Covert Narcissist myself, I know that they always look like the victim, even while they are doing the victimizing. They are master manipulators who take no responsibility for their own behavior.
CCNovember 28, 2020
Thank you so much for addressing this situation.!!
Your suggestions really help me. I am married to a man who displays Covert NARCISSISM behavior and insists he is not that person so no real diagnosis has taken place. Yet divorce has been an option, even after 34 yrs. Even when I wish they're could be another way. We are empty nested also. I turn to the lord and His atonement to help me navigate the ever perplexing environment. Thank you again
EllenNovember 28, 2020
I am so glad we are finally beginning to talk openly about mental illnesses such as personality disorders. This was not the case when I was young and married to a man with borderline personality disorder. Instead, within the church it was all considered sin and Satan. No help there. Especially for the man. Wives were being taught to just follow and support their husbands. Bishops felt they were inspired to counsel for all problems. It was disastrous. I wish you better luck. I will never be able to actually respect priesthood leaders again because of the way I was treated by them.
GTONovember 27, 2020
My mother had NPD and it was awful. She was married twice and both husbands really suffered as did her 3 children. She always deflected and blamed and criticized anyone but herself, but I watched her age to look 120 in her late 60s. Despair was killing her. She would never overtly manifest her guilt, but it just ate away at her silently. So very sad.
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JanMay 7, 2025
Many LDS counselors seem to be adverse to acknowledging a Cluster B Personality Disorder is in the works. They seem to see it as "labeling" instead of the dangerous situation it can be for the spouse and children. Covert narcissism is real, but the APA hasn't studied it. It is not in the diagnostic manual. Having been married to a Covert Narcissist myself, I know that they always look like the victim, even while they are doing the victimizing. They are master manipulators who take no responsibility for their own behavior.
CCNovember 28, 2020
Thank you so much for addressing this situation.!! Your suggestions really help me. I am married to a man who displays Covert NARCISSISM behavior and insists he is not that person so no real diagnosis has taken place. Yet divorce has been an option, even after 34 yrs. Even when I wish they're could be another way. We are empty nested also. I turn to the lord and His atonement to help me navigate the ever perplexing environment. Thank you again
EllenNovember 28, 2020
I am so glad we are finally beginning to talk openly about mental illnesses such as personality disorders. This was not the case when I was young and married to a man with borderline personality disorder. Instead, within the church it was all considered sin and Satan. No help there. Especially for the man. Wives were being taught to just follow and support their husbands. Bishops felt they were inspired to counsel for all problems. It was disastrous. I wish you better luck. I will never be able to actually respect priesthood leaders again because of the way I was treated by them.
GTONovember 27, 2020
My mother had NPD and it was awful. She was married twice and both husbands really suffered as did her 3 children. She always deflected and blamed and criticized anyone but herself, but I watched her age to look 120 in her late 60s. Despair was killing her. She would never overtly manifest her guilt, but it just ate away at her silently. So very sad.
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