I'm so sorry for this difficult experience. I salute and admire you for the care you take for your daughter. I don't know if this is any comfort, but I feel like your inability to see her because of the pandemic is a metaphor for our inabilities and weaknesses in this life. Just as Heavenly Father knew about those, knew they were even necessary, and provided a Savior for us, he knows about the pandemic and has provided a Savior to make up the difference after all we can do. I will pray for you and your daughter-that the Savior will be with you to comfort you and ease your burden.
LeslieNovember 14, 2020
When our hearing impaired, vision impaired mom was in assisted living and we couldn’t visit, even through an open window, my sister bought and had staff set up an Alexa Echo View. We could video call her without her having to manage a tablet or get staff to assist in opening a zoom call. We could just call in and it automatically opened for her, showed her sitting in her usual command center chair. She could see and hear us and we could see and hear her. You could read and show your daughter storybooks, let her see you making dinner at your house, share music. Thankfully we were able to bring mom home to live with us this summer, but still use video calls for grandkids to call her.
Andrea BartleyNovember 13, 2020
I send my hugs and empathy to you! My husband was in an accident in July and they would not let me in the ER. then he was in surgery for hours and no one called till 4:30AM. 7 weeks in the hospital with 9 surgeries and after most of them I found out I was allowed one hour after each surgery. That helped but he was mostly sleeping during that hour. His leg was amputed in August. Finally he went to rehab and got multiple infections in the stump. Back to the hospital and then he got Covid. back to rehab and 10 days quarantine and he couldn't take it anymore. He is now home. The whole time I cried every night as all family are in other states. The travel restrictions prevented them coming to us. So what did I do? With lots of prayer and fasting (myself and others for us) I decided to march myself up to the hospital and say I wanted to see him - he had been so upset under meds and in so much pain I couldn't take it anymore. The security guy called up to talk to the head nurse of the floor that noon hour and she said "send her up." they were plain tired of dealing with him and I got to be with him for 10 hrs. Another time on the night before leaving for rehab he was once again filled with major anxiety. By then I was able to visit 2-6PM every day but when it came time to leave I just said "this is not going to work, I won't leave him like this." And they brought me in a cot. Both of those times were gifts from God - the rest of the time I just took one day at a time and felt so grateful for all the prayers and ministering moments that came my way. We also did the technology thing and got Tablets and visited by messenger. And that helped so definitely see if the hospital is providing the equipment to do that. They were at our hospital but we bought our own anyway. After my experiences, and they wouldn't let me in anymore, I begged God that He would let someone have the same experience I did and have a reprieve and visit their loved ones. Though I'll never know for sure I believe with all my heart the Lord helped others also. So many have suffered so. You are a saint and I will pray that you might have a reprieve. Hugs to you!
KathrynNovember 13, 2020
Two other ideas in addition to the wonderful ideas that have already been shared. There is power in united prayer. I'm guessing you've been praying constantly, but what about asking family, friends, and ward members to join you in prayer? I've seen specific, united prayers bring about amazing blessings.
Another idea is to make a recording of yourself talking to your daughter--video would probably be best if possible, but audio would work too. Express your love. Tell her a favorite story. If you sing or play the piano, sing her some songs she loves. Then see if the staff could play the recording from time to time on the TV in her room (if there is one) or on a tablet or other device.
I'm adding you to my prayers that you and your daughter will be comforted, guided, and encouraged. We love you!
Norma PellettNovember 13, 2020
Dear sister, is there a way you and your daughter can both have a tablet? There are simple ways for her to connect to you. If you ask, someone on the staff should be able to help her. Your other children, grandchildren, or someone in your ward should be able to help you set up both tablets. Call your contact person at her care center and talk to them about setting this up. Arrange a time when there will be someone available to take your daughter's tablet and help her with it. Take someone with you for support. You and your family are in my prayers.
Maryann TaylorNovember 13, 2020
I can't think of a single reason you could not see her through the window whenever you want to. You could also draw some colorful pictures to hold up for her to see and mimic a hug. I think the day is coming when COVID is going to be just one more risk in life we are going to have to accept and go back to our normal activities. We cannot continue this way indefinitely.
DianeNovember 13, 2020
My heart breaks for this mother and daughter! Could the staff at the facility help them to connect via skype, face time, zoom, or some other platform? Even a simple phone call so the daughter could hear her mother’s voice might help.
DianeNovember 13, 2020
My heart breaks for this mother and daughter! I wonder if the staff at the facility could help mother and daughter connect via skype, face time, zoom, or other format? Or maybe even a simple phone call.
MicheleNovember 13, 2020
I cannot assist, but my heart goes out completely to this dear woman. My 70 year old sister still has her youngest 29 year old down syndrome who additionally has a psychotic disorder, which only my sister recognized. I am so grateful for Geoff's tender words in this situation to this dear woman. I will be forwarding the letter to my sister, as she's looked at group homes for my niece but is very distraught about the decision.
ShareeNovember 13, 2020
Maybe the facility staff could set up Zoom meetings between the woman and her daughter.
Sue WynneNovember 13, 2020
I understand to a certain extent. Our 29-year-old son has autism and is also living in supervised housing. We bought him an iPad and we visit every single day via FaceTime. He’s anxious for a visit, but he loves that connection. He’s not a good communicator so sometimes he just hangs out and watches while I work from home, cook or clean kitchen...sometimes we even watch a movie or video together. These are the times when we have to be creative. I would be really shocked if someone at the care facility wouldn’t be willing to help you set that up. Even a five minute daily Facetime call could make all the difference for you both. God bless
Rebecca McCauleyNovember 13, 2020
I was so touched by this article. You are a wonderful Mom! I am sure you have thought of this, but could you meet virtually on Zoom? Or FaceTime over the phone? Talk with the leaders of the facility- everyone is having to communicate differently because of Covid19. Maybe they have made accommodations that are unknown to you.
You are a wonderful, strong, woman and a Mother’s love is some of the strongest in the world! You will find a way!
Heavenly Father is aware of you, your daughter, and this entire situation. He loves you both. My prayers are with you! Keep trying!
Comments | Return to Story
Melissa MarkhamNovember 14, 2020
I'm so sorry for this difficult experience. I salute and admire you for the care you take for your daughter. I don't know if this is any comfort, but I feel like your inability to see her because of the pandemic is a metaphor for our inabilities and weaknesses in this life. Just as Heavenly Father knew about those, knew they were even necessary, and provided a Savior for us, he knows about the pandemic and has provided a Savior to make up the difference after all we can do. I will pray for you and your daughter-that the Savior will be with you to comfort you and ease your burden.
LeslieNovember 14, 2020
When our hearing impaired, vision impaired mom was in assisted living and we couldn’t visit, even through an open window, my sister bought and had staff set up an Alexa Echo View. We could video call her without her having to manage a tablet or get staff to assist in opening a zoom call. We could just call in and it automatically opened for her, showed her sitting in her usual command center chair. She could see and hear us and we could see and hear her. You could read and show your daughter storybooks, let her see you making dinner at your house, share music. Thankfully we were able to bring mom home to live with us this summer, but still use video calls for grandkids to call her.
Andrea BartleyNovember 13, 2020
I send my hugs and empathy to you! My husband was in an accident in July and they would not let me in the ER. then he was in surgery for hours and no one called till 4:30AM. 7 weeks in the hospital with 9 surgeries and after most of them I found out I was allowed one hour after each surgery. That helped but he was mostly sleeping during that hour. His leg was amputed in August. Finally he went to rehab and got multiple infections in the stump. Back to the hospital and then he got Covid. back to rehab and 10 days quarantine and he couldn't take it anymore. He is now home. The whole time I cried every night as all family are in other states. The travel restrictions prevented them coming to us. So what did I do? With lots of prayer and fasting (myself and others for us) I decided to march myself up to the hospital and say I wanted to see him - he had been so upset under meds and in so much pain I couldn't take it anymore. The security guy called up to talk to the head nurse of the floor that noon hour and she said "send her up." they were plain tired of dealing with him and I got to be with him for 10 hrs. Another time on the night before leaving for rehab he was once again filled with major anxiety. By then I was able to visit 2-6PM every day but when it came time to leave I just said "this is not going to work, I won't leave him like this." And they brought me in a cot. Both of those times were gifts from God - the rest of the time I just took one day at a time and felt so grateful for all the prayers and ministering moments that came my way. We also did the technology thing and got Tablets and visited by messenger. And that helped so definitely see if the hospital is providing the equipment to do that. They were at our hospital but we bought our own anyway. After my experiences, and they wouldn't let me in anymore, I begged God that He would let someone have the same experience I did and have a reprieve and visit their loved ones. Though I'll never know for sure I believe with all my heart the Lord helped others also. So many have suffered so. You are a saint and I will pray that you might have a reprieve. Hugs to you!
KathrynNovember 13, 2020
Two other ideas in addition to the wonderful ideas that have already been shared. There is power in united prayer. I'm guessing you've been praying constantly, but what about asking family, friends, and ward members to join you in prayer? I've seen specific, united prayers bring about amazing blessings. Another idea is to make a recording of yourself talking to your daughter--video would probably be best if possible, but audio would work too. Express your love. Tell her a favorite story. If you sing or play the piano, sing her some songs she loves. Then see if the staff could play the recording from time to time on the TV in her room (if there is one) or on a tablet or other device. I'm adding you to my prayers that you and your daughter will be comforted, guided, and encouraged. We love you!
Norma PellettNovember 13, 2020
Dear sister, is there a way you and your daughter can both have a tablet? There are simple ways for her to connect to you. If you ask, someone on the staff should be able to help her. Your other children, grandchildren, or someone in your ward should be able to help you set up both tablets. Call your contact person at her care center and talk to them about setting this up. Arrange a time when there will be someone available to take your daughter's tablet and help her with it. Take someone with you for support. You and your family are in my prayers.
Maryann TaylorNovember 13, 2020
I can't think of a single reason you could not see her through the window whenever you want to. You could also draw some colorful pictures to hold up for her to see and mimic a hug. I think the day is coming when COVID is going to be just one more risk in life we are going to have to accept and go back to our normal activities. We cannot continue this way indefinitely.
DianeNovember 13, 2020
My heart breaks for this mother and daughter! Could the staff at the facility help them to connect via skype, face time, zoom, or some other platform? Even a simple phone call so the daughter could hear her mother’s voice might help.
DianeNovember 13, 2020
My heart breaks for this mother and daughter! I wonder if the staff at the facility could help mother and daughter connect via skype, face time, zoom, or other format? Or maybe even a simple phone call.
MicheleNovember 13, 2020
I cannot assist, but my heart goes out completely to this dear woman. My 70 year old sister still has her youngest 29 year old down syndrome who additionally has a psychotic disorder, which only my sister recognized. I am so grateful for Geoff's tender words in this situation to this dear woman. I will be forwarding the letter to my sister, as she's looked at group homes for my niece but is very distraught about the decision.
ShareeNovember 13, 2020
Maybe the facility staff could set up Zoom meetings between the woman and her daughter.
Sue WynneNovember 13, 2020
I understand to a certain extent. Our 29-year-old son has autism and is also living in supervised housing. We bought him an iPad and we visit every single day via FaceTime. He’s anxious for a visit, but he loves that connection. He’s not a good communicator so sometimes he just hangs out and watches while I work from home, cook or clean kitchen...sometimes we even watch a movie or video together. These are the times when we have to be creative. I would be really shocked if someone at the care facility wouldn’t be willing to help you set that up. Even a five minute daily Facetime call could make all the difference for you both. God bless
Rebecca McCauleyNovember 13, 2020
I was so touched by this article. You are a wonderful Mom! I am sure you have thought of this, but could you meet virtually on Zoom? Or FaceTime over the phone? Talk with the leaders of the facility- everyone is having to communicate differently because of Covid19. Maybe they have made accommodations that are unknown to you. You are a wonderful, strong, woman and a Mother’s love is some of the strongest in the world! You will find a way! Heavenly Father is aware of you, your daughter, and this entire situation. He loves you both. My prayers are with you! Keep trying!
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