There is a big difference between forgiveness and resuming a relationship with someone who betrayed you in the very worst way. It is also dangerous for the wife and the man she cheated with to be together. In order to completely release the sinful situation and feelings involved, they should not be around one another at all. Ever. Period. It is extremely unfair to ask the husband who was betrayed to resume the friendship. I don't know where the wife's friend is coming from, but this suggestion is nuts! If the wife gives him ANY pressure, I would suspect she doesn't have a clue about how much pain she caused him, and I would doubt her repentance.
A liar is not always a cheater but a cheater is always a liar. Don't waste any more of your time with these liars, cheaters, and deceivers. Leave the cesspool and save yourself. You deserve better!
I think of the example of our Savior. When he was alive in mortality, he was repeatedly scorned, beaten, stoned, etc. etc., and he forgave these people, but in many cases didn't associate with them later on.
Same here - we all need to forgive (and I hope this brother in this story can work through the devastation and forgive his wife and the other couple), but absolutely no way would I trust his wife and the other man to be around each other, especially so soon after the affair.
Friendship must be ended. Not just temporarily but forever. Has no one else read President Kimball's advice on this? Someone who had an affair with your wife is not your friend. Ever, ever again.
No just absolutely no. That friendship went down the toilet from the first moment the betrayel happened. You are kidding yourself if you think forginess will heal a wound that deep. Whilst this couple continue to be around you and your wife the wound will never heal. Forgive but do not stay in their lives.
I think you should both let this "friendship" go...As the two of you work on your marriage, the last thing you need are thoughts (or memories) of what went on between the two of them! Just because a recovering alcoholic may feel like the bartender is a friend, it doesn't mean the bar should be frequented so they can visit together! Too many temptations and thoughts of the past to be able to resist and move on!
I’ve considered your counsel to couples in the past as being encouragingly valid but take umbrage with that given in this case of horrible and monumental violation of trust.
As the last to discover the traumatic events there had to be conversations of which he had no part, agreements of which he didn’t agree,, meetings to which he wasn’t invited, words spoken to conspire illicit activities so as to ameliorate the impact on the poor cuckold.
The over weening betrayal, compounded by three against one crushed any effort to reconciliation and future friendship. The only course of action would include ostracization of the violators and ending of association. Reassembly of trust between the man and his errant spouse would have to be a clean break so as to eliminate the exclusive conversations of what appears to be a ménage de trois. Any conversation with the wife of the corrospondant would appear conspiratorial as an effort to assuage the anger, frustration and humiliation of the husband.
This event is on the very cusp of dissolution and would require revelatory advice and direction. The Lord Jesus Christ could only direct such a reconciliation.
Forgiving your supposed friend and continuing the friendship are two different actions. God commands that you forgive him, but He doesn't say a thing about continuing a friendship with someone who has betrayed that friendship in the most horrible and awful way possible. His wife also betrayed you by going to your wife but not to you - as if she thought you had no need to know. This isn't Downton Abbey - in real life men have a right to know. They both betrayed you - time to cut ties and make new friends. I apologize for the harshness of my post but this is what I feel.
i didnt bother to read this i feel that there is no way this can be....he can forgive the man but never ever trust him to be around your wife...and same with the wife...it takes two.....forgiving is one thing...but trusting...sorry nope...
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