My parents had "the talk" with me when I was 8, then did their best to avoid mentioning the topic ever again. Consequently, when I had questions about sex, I went to my friends and the Internet for my information. I'm ashamed to admit that I was drawn into sexually explicit books and, gradually, pornography, in an attempt to satisfy my curiosity and confusion about sex. My parents, when they found out, made sure to lay on the shame, but never addressed my concerns or gave me any positive talks about sex.
Years later, I'm still trying to figure out healthy sexuality--in a healthy relationship with my husband. I struggled trying to overcome feelings of guilt for feeling sexual urges, and I went into marriage not even knowing the proper terms for parts of anatomy--including my own anatomy!
My point is, your daughter has been gaining information about sex for a while, and likely feels uncomfortable or even afraid to ask you for more information because she's picked up that sex is shameful to you. If you'd rather her get the information from you (as I wished I could have gotten it from my parents), then please be open with her and don't shame her. Remind her that sex is beautiful and creates a special, powerful bond between people, which is why Heavenly Father has commanded us to save it for marriage. It's a natural and wonderful thing. Don't be afraid of her curiosity, but help her understand that the world wants us to utilize sex outside of marriage, and often mocks its sacredness.
RosieAugust 30, 2020
As a 14 yr old girl many years ago I was given a cheap novel by an acquaintance, took it home & read it and meant to throw it away as it was crude. My mother found it, over reacted to the point of ridiculousness and stamped on me for most of my lifetime that I had a basically evil nature. My mother had underlying issues, which this woman seems to have about sex. I found out later my mother had been sexually abused as a girl. She never taught us appropriate sexual attitudes and I was "punished" for this act beyond what was reasonable. Interestingly our Jr. High at the time (the early 70's) was a cesspool with all things exposed and promoted. I wonder if parents spent one day with their children at school if they would be so naive. What a loving talk instead of over reaction would have done for me I wonder.
EugeneAugust 28, 2020
Give the mother some real advice. She has her head buried in the sand if she thinks her 11 year old daughter hasn't already entered puberty, she will soon. Unless the mother has her daughter locked in a one-person home school, the daughter is already being exposed to a lot of things at school. The reason the girl didn't have much reaction to the story is that she has already been exposed to much more. Promising to review a book for her daughter, putting it on a top shelf (like she can't stand on a stool) and forgetting about it, put Mom as much as fault for not following through as the daughter for reading it "without permission."
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AnonymousSeptember 30, 2020
My parents had "the talk" with me when I was 8, then did their best to avoid mentioning the topic ever again. Consequently, when I had questions about sex, I went to my friends and the Internet for my information. I'm ashamed to admit that I was drawn into sexually explicit books and, gradually, pornography, in an attempt to satisfy my curiosity and confusion about sex. My parents, when they found out, made sure to lay on the shame, but never addressed my concerns or gave me any positive talks about sex. Years later, I'm still trying to figure out healthy sexuality--in a healthy relationship with my husband. I struggled trying to overcome feelings of guilt for feeling sexual urges, and I went into marriage not even knowing the proper terms for parts of anatomy--including my own anatomy! My point is, your daughter has been gaining information about sex for a while, and likely feels uncomfortable or even afraid to ask you for more information because she's picked up that sex is shameful to you. If you'd rather her get the information from you (as I wished I could have gotten it from my parents), then please be open with her and don't shame her. Remind her that sex is beautiful and creates a special, powerful bond between people, which is why Heavenly Father has commanded us to save it for marriage. It's a natural and wonderful thing. Don't be afraid of her curiosity, but help her understand that the world wants us to utilize sex outside of marriage, and often mocks its sacredness.
RosieAugust 30, 2020
As a 14 yr old girl many years ago I was given a cheap novel by an acquaintance, took it home & read it and meant to throw it away as it was crude. My mother found it, over reacted to the point of ridiculousness and stamped on me for most of my lifetime that I had a basically evil nature. My mother had underlying issues, which this woman seems to have about sex. I found out later my mother had been sexually abused as a girl. She never taught us appropriate sexual attitudes and I was "punished" for this act beyond what was reasonable. Interestingly our Jr. High at the time (the early 70's) was a cesspool with all things exposed and promoted. I wonder if parents spent one day with their children at school if they would be so naive. What a loving talk instead of over reaction would have done for me I wonder.
EugeneAugust 28, 2020
Give the mother some real advice. She has her head buried in the sand if she thinks her 11 year old daughter hasn't already entered puberty, she will soon. Unless the mother has her daughter locked in a one-person home school, the daughter is already being exposed to a lot of things at school. The reason the girl didn't have much reaction to the story is that she has already been exposed to much more. Promising to review a book for her daughter, putting it on a top shelf (like she can't stand on a stool) and forgetting about it, put Mom as much as fault for not following through as the daughter for reading it "without permission."
GrandpaAugust 28, 2020
Good and thoughtful reply
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