I have 24 grandchildren and I don't live near any of them. I love many of these ideas. I have been convinced for quite some time that grandparents are more important now than ever. There are so many poor influences in their lives. Often, after making a bad choice or being confused, children are reluctant to go directly to their parents. They need someone, like their grandparent, to whom they can go for help without fear of being judged. If we can fill that role, we truly can help save our grandchildren.
Lisa MurphyMarch 10, 2020
Our grand daughter is almost 2 and we visit as often as we can, which is only 2-3 times a year. So video chats and phone calls on speaker phone are great. This really makes the distance smaller because when we do visit, she recognizes us, is comfortable and happy to see us.
CindyFebruary 25, 2020
Thank you for the article. I find more anxiousness vs. joy. I certainly love them however in small doses for me. My stamina and creativeness does not align with them. How do I work out my introverted self with them and still be true to who I am. I do find I hit a wall with this. I as well noted above you had commented “ you wanted input”....
any answers to what I see above in comments would be so helpful. Thank you
SusanFebruary 12, 2020
I love being a grandma! It brings so much joy to my life. My grandma was amazing, and I miss her every day even after 23 years of her being on the other side of the veil. It motivates me to be a great grandma! One of the things that our grandkids love is to receive post cards when we travel. At first I was sending one post card per family, but the grandkids started to fight over who got to keep it, so now I send one to every grandchild individually.
For Christmas, instead of presents, we give them experiences. We just had a weekend where we went to a local hotel with a great swimming pool with just our grandkids. We stayed the night, ate junk food, played and laughed, then went to see the monster trucks the next day. What a great weekend! It is so much better without their parents around. Haha! I love our alone time. That is when they behave better and are more likely to talk with us.
We can be such an influence for good, and it does our own hearts so much good at the same time.
NanFebruary 11, 2020
What a great forum, not only for the Eyre's insights and ideas but for the readers experiences and thoughts.
Being the grandparent of 24, I find as I get older, time and energy for me can be a barrier to spending the quality individual time I would like with each grandchild. It can be a real juggling act to keep in touch with all families and individuals as well. That said. The times in the car, on the couch, on line, at their school activity or in the pool, whether in a group or just with Nan (and Pop) reinforce how much they are loved and cared about and supported. And hugs and kisses are a given from this grandma always.
The icing on the cake is when you get comments like "l love you Nan" or "we have a great family".
All family dynamics are different but as long as LOVE is shown in whatever way possible, that is what is so important.
ColleenFebruary 11, 2020
With 128, and counting, Great Grandchildren, it can be a wonderful challenge, but I will add what I have done.
Last year I made a one- page copy of my testimony , added a dollar or two, then sent it in a card to each child on his or her birthday. If I did not have a card, I drew my own greetings with Magic Markers ( funny stuff for their ages) and mailed them. Sometimes I added a note to the parents of the younger ones, to save it for them.
WithheldFebruary 11, 2020
How do you suggest one-on-one grandparenting when the mother is a "Helicopter mom"? We have 3 grandchildren that live 3000 miles away due to military service. They are 5 1/2, 3, and 5 months. When they come home their mom feels like it is a family vacation and they have to do everything as a family. None of the grandparents that live here get alone time with our own child or grandchildren. She is involved in every phone conversation or skype. My son usually calls on his lunch break or when he is driving to or from work so that we can talk without her controlling the conversation.
I'm hoping this is because they are small, and as they grow this will change. I recognize that she is insecure and hopefully she will get better as she matures.But until then any suggestions?
JenFebruary 11, 2020
What if your grandkids are already teenagers and you haven’t been doing one on one dates. How do we start the real now? connection
CarolynFebruary 11, 2020
I’m widowed. I’ve always had the little grandkids sleep with me and I’ve been able to have the most wonderful conversations with them at that time. They have asked some of the deepest spiritual questions and I’ve been privileged to have conversations about life and religion that I may not otherwise have had. It is becoming a bit more difficult as they get older, but I’m up for the challenge. I’m inspired by some of your suggestions.
Linda EyreFebruary 11, 2020
Yes, lets get this forum going!
HKFebruary 11, 2020
"Have them make a list in your notebook of “things I am sure I will do in my life,” and “things I might do in my life,” and “things I will never do in my life.”
This is a great idea...and I love that they should write it down!
Richard EyreFebruary 11, 2020
We would love comments and inputs from all you grandparents out there!
Jean PetrilliFebruary 11, 2020
Loved this article. For Christmas last year I gave my grandchildren a card that was good for dates with grandma, one on one. I have been able to do this with 5 of the so far and it has been great. They seemed to enjoy it also. Looking forward to some more dates.
Gary and Noy GarvinFebruary 11, 2020
My wife and I love this. We do this daily and let her know we will always be here for her!
Laura and Scott BreymanFebruary 11, 2020
Thank you! We have 3 grandchildren in 3 different states. We do a lot of FaceTiming with them but loved your idea of doing Grandma and Grandpa dates with them when we visit.
Our grandchildren are all 4 yrs and under so we do a lot of singing and reading books together on social media. It’s the best!!
LynnFebruary 11, 2020
I will be a new grandma this summer with my first. Thank you for this article. I have so much to learn and I'm taking notes. At this point it looks like my daughter-in-law will have to return to work and I will be a full time grandma. I plan to do the same with all my grandchildren. I'm excited and scared at the same time.
Sharon StandleyFebruary 11, 2020
I appreciate your comments. I am a lucky grandparent that is near by and you are correct that kids are different when parents are not present. I have been told many "secrets" over the years some funny and some more serious that I was able to help them with. I have been able to take 3 of my grandchildren to church each Sunday because they have allowed me to do that from the time they were sunbeams until now when two are teenagers and one has been married in the Temple. One parent is an inactive member and the other belongs to and is not active in another church. The drives to church have been a time to discuss many things and when they have had problems they will come to get advice. It has been a blessing. I do not go against anything their parents have told them, but offer additional insight, They are now working on a plan to get the parents back to church.
Diane IrwinFebruary 11, 2020
I like the 'REALLY' idea to keep them talking! I love being 'Gram' to 4 boys, ages 6 months to 10. It has been difficult in the past year or so to get the oldest one to talk. Thanks for the idea!
Diane PollardFebruary 11, 2020
Thank you for creating this forum for your insights, instruction, ideas, and encouragement in our grand parenting efforts, and for inviting readers to do the same. My husband and I are committed to being involved with, and supportive of, our precious grandchildren. I loved the idea of having a notebook to record information about our grandchildren, not only by us, but by them.
VickyFebruary 11, 2020
Love this! Great thoughts and ideas!
Pat VassilarosFebruary 11, 2020
I have handwritten letters to my grandson. He said he keeps them all! I totally believe in personal letters that include funny stories about your life, experiences that you have had as a teen or as an adult that relates to their trial. But the most important thing is to let them know that "this too will pass" as my Mom taught me!
Jon H.February 11, 2020
Grand-parenting is an area I have felt weak in. One reason is because I don’t live close to any of my grandkids.
I love the information I read in this article and it has given me renewed hope in strengthening my relationship with them. I look forward to more articles on grand-parenting.
Frank & LexiFebruary 11, 2020
We are always a available to help, but we are not interested in taking over.
SallyFebruary 11, 2020
Thank you so much for this wonderful advice! We have only 1 grandchild whom we want to grandparent well after having been away from her for 3 years in a foreign country. I excitedly await next week’s column and want you to know how grateful I am for sharing your wisdom. I highly respect you both. Thank you for your guidance!!
Comments | Return to Story
Dave BarkerApril 8, 2020
I have 24 grandchildren and I don't live near any of them. I love many of these ideas. I have been convinced for quite some time that grandparents are more important now than ever. There are so many poor influences in their lives. Often, after making a bad choice or being confused, children are reluctant to go directly to their parents. They need someone, like their grandparent, to whom they can go for help without fear of being judged. If we can fill that role, we truly can help save our grandchildren.
Lisa MurphyMarch 10, 2020
Our grand daughter is almost 2 and we visit as often as we can, which is only 2-3 times a year. So video chats and phone calls on speaker phone are great. This really makes the distance smaller because when we do visit, she recognizes us, is comfortable and happy to see us.
CindyFebruary 25, 2020
Thank you for the article. I find more anxiousness vs. joy. I certainly love them however in small doses for me. My stamina and creativeness does not align with them. How do I work out my introverted self with them and still be true to who I am. I do find I hit a wall with this. I as well noted above you had commented “ you wanted input”.... any answers to what I see above in comments would be so helpful. Thank you
SusanFebruary 12, 2020
I love being a grandma! It brings so much joy to my life. My grandma was amazing, and I miss her every day even after 23 years of her being on the other side of the veil. It motivates me to be a great grandma! One of the things that our grandkids love is to receive post cards when we travel. At first I was sending one post card per family, but the grandkids started to fight over who got to keep it, so now I send one to every grandchild individually. For Christmas, instead of presents, we give them experiences. We just had a weekend where we went to a local hotel with a great swimming pool with just our grandkids. We stayed the night, ate junk food, played and laughed, then went to see the monster trucks the next day. What a great weekend! It is so much better without their parents around. Haha! I love our alone time. That is when they behave better and are more likely to talk with us. We can be such an influence for good, and it does our own hearts so much good at the same time.
NanFebruary 11, 2020
What a great forum, not only for the Eyre's insights and ideas but for the readers experiences and thoughts. Being the grandparent of 24, I find as I get older, time and energy for me can be a barrier to spending the quality individual time I would like with each grandchild. It can be a real juggling act to keep in touch with all families and individuals as well. That said. The times in the car, on the couch, on line, at their school activity or in the pool, whether in a group or just with Nan (and Pop) reinforce how much they are loved and cared about and supported. And hugs and kisses are a given from this grandma always. The icing on the cake is when you get comments like "l love you Nan" or "we have a great family". All family dynamics are different but as long as LOVE is shown in whatever way possible, that is what is so important.
ColleenFebruary 11, 2020
With 128, and counting, Great Grandchildren, it can be a wonderful challenge, but I will add what I have done. Last year I made a one- page copy of my testimony , added a dollar or two, then sent it in a card to each child on his or her birthday. If I did not have a card, I drew my own greetings with Magic Markers ( funny stuff for their ages) and mailed them. Sometimes I added a note to the parents of the younger ones, to save it for them.
WithheldFebruary 11, 2020
How do you suggest one-on-one grandparenting when the mother is a "Helicopter mom"? We have 3 grandchildren that live 3000 miles away due to military service. They are 5 1/2, 3, and 5 months. When they come home their mom feels like it is a family vacation and they have to do everything as a family. None of the grandparents that live here get alone time with our own child or grandchildren. She is involved in every phone conversation or skype. My son usually calls on his lunch break or when he is driving to or from work so that we can talk without her controlling the conversation. I'm hoping this is because they are small, and as they grow this will change. I recognize that she is insecure and hopefully she will get better as she matures.But until then any suggestions?
JenFebruary 11, 2020
What if your grandkids are already teenagers and you haven’t been doing one on one dates. How do we start the real now? connection
CarolynFebruary 11, 2020
I’m widowed. I’ve always had the little grandkids sleep with me and I’ve been able to have the most wonderful conversations with them at that time. They have asked some of the deepest spiritual questions and I’ve been privileged to have conversations about life and religion that I may not otherwise have had. It is becoming a bit more difficult as they get older, but I’m up for the challenge. I’m inspired by some of your suggestions.
Linda EyreFebruary 11, 2020
Yes, lets get this forum going!
HKFebruary 11, 2020
"Have them make a list in your notebook of “things I am sure I will do in my life,” and “things I might do in my life,” and “things I will never do in my life.” This is a great idea...and I love that they should write it down!
Richard EyreFebruary 11, 2020
We would love comments and inputs from all you grandparents out there!
Jean PetrilliFebruary 11, 2020
Loved this article. For Christmas last year I gave my grandchildren a card that was good for dates with grandma, one on one. I have been able to do this with 5 of the so far and it has been great. They seemed to enjoy it also. Looking forward to some more dates.
Gary and Noy GarvinFebruary 11, 2020
My wife and I love this. We do this daily and let her know we will always be here for her!
Laura and Scott BreymanFebruary 11, 2020
Thank you! We have 3 grandchildren in 3 different states. We do a lot of FaceTiming with them but loved your idea of doing Grandma and Grandpa dates with them when we visit. Our grandchildren are all 4 yrs and under so we do a lot of singing and reading books together on social media. It’s the best!!
LynnFebruary 11, 2020
I will be a new grandma this summer with my first. Thank you for this article. I have so much to learn and I'm taking notes. At this point it looks like my daughter-in-law will have to return to work and I will be a full time grandma. I plan to do the same with all my grandchildren. I'm excited and scared at the same time.
Sharon StandleyFebruary 11, 2020
I appreciate your comments. I am a lucky grandparent that is near by and you are correct that kids are different when parents are not present. I have been told many "secrets" over the years some funny and some more serious that I was able to help them with. I have been able to take 3 of my grandchildren to church each Sunday because they have allowed me to do that from the time they were sunbeams until now when two are teenagers and one has been married in the Temple. One parent is an inactive member and the other belongs to and is not active in another church. The drives to church have been a time to discuss many things and when they have had problems they will come to get advice. It has been a blessing. I do not go against anything their parents have told them, but offer additional insight, They are now working on a plan to get the parents back to church.
Diane IrwinFebruary 11, 2020
I like the 'REALLY' idea to keep them talking! I love being 'Gram' to 4 boys, ages 6 months to 10. It has been difficult in the past year or so to get the oldest one to talk. Thanks for the idea!
Diane PollardFebruary 11, 2020
Thank you for creating this forum for your insights, instruction, ideas, and encouragement in our grand parenting efforts, and for inviting readers to do the same. My husband and I are committed to being involved with, and supportive of, our precious grandchildren. I loved the idea of having a notebook to record information about our grandchildren, not only by us, but by them.
VickyFebruary 11, 2020
Love this! Great thoughts and ideas!
Pat VassilarosFebruary 11, 2020
I have handwritten letters to my grandson. He said he keeps them all! I totally believe in personal letters that include funny stories about your life, experiences that you have had as a teen or as an adult that relates to their trial. But the most important thing is to let them know that "this too will pass" as my Mom taught me!
Jon H.February 11, 2020
Grand-parenting is an area I have felt weak in. One reason is because I don’t live close to any of my grandkids. I love the information I read in this article and it has given me renewed hope in strengthening my relationship with them. I look forward to more articles on grand-parenting.
Frank & LexiFebruary 11, 2020
We are always a available to help, but we are not interested in taking over.
SallyFebruary 11, 2020
Thank you so much for this wonderful advice! We have only 1 grandchild whom we want to grandparent well after having been away from her for 3 years in a foreign country. I excitedly await next week’s column and want you to know how grateful I am for sharing your wisdom. I highly respect you both. Thank you for your guidance!!
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