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August 20, 2022

Comments | Return to Story

MaryannAugust 9, 2019

The reason you "feel completely abandoned by him" is because you have been! Time to stop calling him and to accept the fact that you cannot save this marriage alone. The most important point made in this article is that marriage is a two way comittment. You cannot heal this marriage without his support. If he doesn't contact you, I would end the marriage and start looking for a man who is ready to truly commit himself to you.

DMJuly 31, 2019

I agree with Leigh, Reasonable and gives him the choice to declare or not.

Leigh SmithJuly 31, 2019

I think I would make an apt for a counselor (if for nothing else, your own piece of mind) and then give him the message of when the apt is. Also tell him you have made every effort to try to save your relationship and you deserve an explanation for his behavior. in other words, closure. His behavior is unacceptable and you deserve at the least an explanation for it and a release from the relationship, so you can begin to heal and move on. Give him a date by when you need to hear from him/see him face to face, etc or you will move on. Then stick to it. I have been married for 40 years and that is my advice. That is what I would tell my daughter or friend.

Chuck ChamberlainJuly 31, 2019

I believe the advice given in this article and would add one caveat. We should never assume to know the motivations behind someone's behavior. In the case of this husband, the "message" manifested by his behavior could be something other than what it appears, and the wife should be open to new information when it becomes known. For instance, perhaps the husband had been in a serious accident and therefore unable to respond.

LeahJuly 29, 2019

Sounds like he's "just not that in to you" to quote a book and the movie about it. My own experience begs me to ask: Is it possible he's behaving badly so you will kick him to the curb and thus he will escape the blame for a brief failed marriage? If he can blame you, he doesn't look so bad? - in his own mind. People's actions tell you all you need to know if you are willing to see it.



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