I hope we aren't in danger of putting disagreements on a pedestal here! After 49 years of marriage, my husband and I agree on most things that are truly important to us---the gospel, our political affiliations, and many other issues. We find a lot of joy in the things we have in common, especially our sense of humor. While we occasionally just have to "agree to disagree", we usually have a peaceful relationship. Neither one of us is a "doormat," and we both speak our minds about how we feel. It IS possible to have a peaceful and mostly agreeable relationship without any sense of boredom. I don't think I would want to stay in a relationship where my husband and I were disagreeing all the time.
LoraJune 12, 2019
I have a friend whose marriage is without disagreement. Her daughter once told her that it was a disadvantage to her in her marriage because she didn't know how to have a disagreement with her husband! She'd never seen one! I said, "Send her to my house. I'll show her."
I have a son who said, "Thank you for showing me how to have disagreements in marriage. It's really helped." He'd seen us disagree for years. We don't call each other names. We don't bring up past disagreements. When I'm feeling especially inspired instead of frustrated, I just burst into prayer. Right there. Praying in the middle of a disagreement automatically softens voices and invites the Spirit to help.
There have been times when I've gotten very upset, and that's when I get quiet. My husband is aware that "the silent treatment" is actually better than my saying what I'm thinking at that moment. I'd rather not have to apologize for saying the wrong thing when I'm up on my high horse.
If I had the unrealistic expectation that a truly eternal marriage would be between two people who never disagree, are never thoughtless, and never hurt each other's feelings, we wouldn't have lasted 43 years.
MarkJune 11, 2019
This is great advice for couple's that live in the world. How about the couple's who live in the world but not of it? My loving and eternal companion and I come from bad marriages. I prayed that some day the Lord would guide me to somebody who put more emphasis on our reward on the other side. He led me to her! Since we look upon life with spiritual eyes, we don't have disagreements. I don't think I could love anybody else as much as I love her. The road to the tree of life is very narrow and the reward is joy and happiness. I know most of the things you are talking about here are of worldly situations. I think the bigger thing to consider when disagreeing is, "What would Jesus do?"
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MaryannJune 16, 2019
I hope we aren't in danger of putting disagreements on a pedestal here! After 49 years of marriage, my husband and I agree on most things that are truly important to us---the gospel, our political affiliations, and many other issues. We find a lot of joy in the things we have in common, especially our sense of humor. While we occasionally just have to "agree to disagree", we usually have a peaceful relationship. Neither one of us is a "doormat," and we both speak our minds about how we feel. It IS possible to have a peaceful and mostly agreeable relationship without any sense of boredom. I don't think I would want to stay in a relationship where my husband and I were disagreeing all the time.
LoraJune 12, 2019
I have a friend whose marriage is without disagreement. Her daughter once told her that it was a disadvantage to her in her marriage because she didn't know how to have a disagreement with her husband! She'd never seen one! I said, "Send her to my house. I'll show her." I have a son who said, "Thank you for showing me how to have disagreements in marriage. It's really helped." He'd seen us disagree for years. We don't call each other names. We don't bring up past disagreements. When I'm feeling especially inspired instead of frustrated, I just burst into prayer. Right there. Praying in the middle of a disagreement automatically softens voices and invites the Spirit to help. There have been times when I've gotten very upset, and that's when I get quiet. My husband is aware that "the silent treatment" is actually better than my saying what I'm thinking at that moment. I'd rather not have to apologize for saying the wrong thing when I'm up on my high horse. If I had the unrealistic expectation that a truly eternal marriage would be between two people who never disagree, are never thoughtless, and never hurt each other's feelings, we wouldn't have lasted 43 years.
MarkJune 11, 2019
This is great advice for couple's that live in the world. How about the couple's who live in the world but not of it? My loving and eternal companion and I come from bad marriages. I prayed that some day the Lord would guide me to somebody who put more emphasis on our reward on the other side. He led me to her! Since we look upon life with spiritual eyes, we don't have disagreements. I don't think I could love anybody else as much as I love her. The road to the tree of life is very narrow and the reward is joy and happiness. I know most of the things you are talking about here are of worldly situations. I think the bigger thing to consider when disagreeing is, "What would Jesus do?"
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