False assumptions- So true for us too.My wife said she didn't want to have children before we married and I didn't believe her. We delayed stopping contraceptives for a couple of years until she wanted a baby. Then we experienced a little brush with infertility for a few years. When she finally did get pregnant, she wanted the baby but didn't really want to be pregnant. So she totally ignored it. No prenatal care until late and no symptoms except an enlarging abdomen. When her mother finally made her go get checked out, she asked the doctor, can you just put me to sleep for these last few weeks and then wake me up when its all over and hand me the baby? No. Later, the baby was 2 weeks overdue and they were going to do a C-section the next day. We were talking about writing a book called: How to laugh your way through pregnancy- when her water broke. The next 6 hours were like going through a category 5 hurricane outdoors. Without going into details, she almost died but they managed to save mother and our feisty little girl. I claim the doctor didn't have to slap her on the rump to get her breathing, she slapped the doctor. My wife was in the hospital for a week and home flat on her back in bed for the rest of a month. Motherhood didn't really start until then. (Almost had the girl toilet trained.) Lucky we had a strong extended family support system. She was going to continue working from home programming computers for NASA but her career direction changed to programming children; first her own and then other people's children as a music teacher at a Methodist school that doesn't require a teaching degree. I laugh now when she expertly picks up a baby or child and gently quiets it. I think to myself, she really doesn't know what she is doing. Yet another false expectation, retroactive. I wish you the best and also really like your mountain painting in the nursery.
though I know when that day comes it will involve endurance and pain and exhaustion and sacrifice,.... How about that for another false paradigm??!We have more influence on our own birth process than we know sisters!!Xxx
There's an even deeper meaning to the paradigm you describe and that is the parallel between such a new experience to what it will feel like for us when we pass on to the other side. We may now think we know what paradise will feel like and, as members of the Church, we may be convinced we know all about the here-after. However, just like you and your updated reflections on child-bearing, we won't really know what heaven is like until we're there. And when that happens, let's pray we aren't disappointed.
What a brilliant insight into becoming a mother. With your mindfulness, you are becoming a better mother than you ever thought you could be.
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