This sounds bad, but have you considered every situation? Heavy breathing--does she have to climb the stairs to get to the break room or copy machine or the boss' room? I'm sure she's exhausted being a single mom. "Does she know" is his boss female and he just took something of hers off her desk? Okay maybe these are stretches. "Don't touch me there"--he might think it's okay to put a hand on the shoulder or perhaps he was pointing to her shirt and about to make a comment. Let's hope it means she's got boundaries and wasn't directing him to touch places. Or you could go the opposite direction and assume everything was affair-related, down to the belly-button story. If it was a spiritual prompting and not a feeling of fear of emotion that prompted you to record him, then you need the spirit to know how to approach him because he's going to be super defensive if you're wrong and super defensive if you're right. It's very rare for things to get better after recordings. Everyone I know who tried to hide something from their spouse got courage from the adversary to come out when caught and leave them. Everyone I know who accuses an innocent spouse damages their relationship. Just be ready for the fallout--you need to be really prepared, really tactful, and gather more evidence.
RanaeMarch 8, 2019
I don't usually check footnotes, but the article in footnote 1 has extremely valuable information. I would highly recommend it to anyone who has been trying to make sense of not only what constitutes emotional abuse, but also what to do when you identify it in your own relationship.
https://www.lds.org/study/ensign/1996/06/the-invisible-heartbreaker?lang=eng
Joy LundbergMarch 8, 2019
Excellent article. Geoff Steurer is right on target with his counsel. In our most recent book "Because We Love Our Marriage: 12 Ways to Safeguard Your Eternal Relationship" (published by Covenant Communications) we address this issue head-on in the first chapter, quoting words of Church leaders and others regarding flirting, what it is, and what to do about it. This may be helpful for those dealing with this issue and those who want to avoid it.
We congratulate Geoff on the important work he is doing to help marriages and families stay strong.
Gary & Joy Lundberg
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Little Ol MeMarch 12, 2019
This sounds bad, but have you considered every situation? Heavy breathing--does she have to climb the stairs to get to the break room or copy machine or the boss' room? I'm sure she's exhausted being a single mom. "Does she know" is his boss female and he just took something of hers off her desk? Okay maybe these are stretches. "Don't touch me there"--he might think it's okay to put a hand on the shoulder or perhaps he was pointing to her shirt and about to make a comment. Let's hope it means she's got boundaries and wasn't directing him to touch places. Or you could go the opposite direction and assume everything was affair-related, down to the belly-button story. If it was a spiritual prompting and not a feeling of fear of emotion that prompted you to record him, then you need the spirit to know how to approach him because he's going to be super defensive if you're wrong and super defensive if you're right. It's very rare for things to get better after recordings. Everyone I know who tried to hide something from their spouse got courage from the adversary to come out when caught and leave them. Everyone I know who accuses an innocent spouse damages their relationship. Just be ready for the fallout--you need to be really prepared, really tactful, and gather more evidence.
RanaeMarch 8, 2019
I don't usually check footnotes, but the article in footnote 1 has extremely valuable information. I would highly recommend it to anyone who has been trying to make sense of not only what constitutes emotional abuse, but also what to do when you identify it in your own relationship. https://www.lds.org/study/ensign/1996/06/the-invisible-heartbreaker?lang=eng
Joy LundbergMarch 8, 2019
Excellent article. Geoff Steurer is right on target with his counsel. In our most recent book "Because We Love Our Marriage: 12 Ways to Safeguard Your Eternal Relationship" (published by Covenant Communications) we address this issue head-on in the first chapter, quoting words of Church leaders and others regarding flirting, what it is, and what to do about it. This may be helpful for those dealing with this issue and those who want to avoid it. We congratulate Geoff on the important work he is doing to help marriages and families stay strong. Gary & Joy Lundberg
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