Excellent, excellent reply! People like the woman in this letter don't need everyone giving them advise and telling them what t do -- they need compassion and they need to be asked "what can I do?" God has commanded us to love and comfort each other; not tell them what to do. Leave the legal and professional help to be given by the experts.
This article was particularly painful for me as I have a sister-in-law who went through a similar trial over 10 years ago. Her husband (and father of their 5 children) declared his change in sexuality and wanted an amicable divorce so he could pursue his new-found life-style. He, too, started looking at pornography early in their marriage. His addiction soon transitioned to same-gender porn as the desire for increasingly graphic images desensitized him to normal marital intimacy. He became selfish and physically/emotionally abusive toward his wive and children. Fast-forward to the present. My ex-brother-in-law's life has been a train-wreck that not only negatively affected him, but also my sister-in-law, their children, and every one who was close to them. He left his wife in abject poverty and - 10 years later - she still struggles just to provide the bare necessities of life for herself and one of her adult children who - as a result of this tragedy - is unable to cope with the everyday challenges of life. He, himself, has been through multiple partners, suffers from poor health, and has become increasingly antagonistic toward the church and anyone associated with it. We try to maintain an amiable relationship with him, but he has become an angry, cynical, seething cauldron of hatred that no one would willingly subject themselves too. We pray for his welfare and try to help his family whenever we can, but the damage from his choices is almost beyond comprehension.
I am now retired, but I practiced law for many years, during which I did a lot of family law work. Some of the stories I could relate are horrific.
Don't get mad, get even. Take a very hard line.
You don't need him or his ways to contaminate and more of your family than he already has. I expect he has been living a lie for many years and the damage he has done is hard to calculate.
He an his influence on you and the rest of his family needs to be excised like a malignant cancer.
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