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September 26, 2021

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MichaelNovember 10, 2018

I wish to point out that family relations have long legs. Usually that is a good thing. But it might not be such a good thing when recovering from infidelity. I have this brother who is a great guy and has a wonderful wife and family. While they were engaged she had a little fling. Nothing that serious and they got over it. He told me about it and I still remember. That happened around 1980. Going on 40 years ago. I would never tell anyone about it, but my sister would. I had a good friend in the military who cheated on his wife once while deployed. I helped them decide to repent, stay together and work it out. That was about 1988. I still remember. But I haven't seen them in over 20 years. Even if I was inclined to gossip about this, who cares- that he or I currently know? Nobody. Some things eventually need to stay in the past where they belong.

GrandpaNovember 10, 2018

Excellent, excellent response. This dear woman needs to talk to someone who can help validate her feelings, but it has got to be someone she trusts and who will not talk. And I agree that no one has a natural "right" to be the one she talks to. In an ideal world a parent would be a natural choice, but we don't live there. As much as I loved my parents, anything you told them was broadcast to the rest of the family, even if they promised confidentiality, "because family needs to be able to help you!". We learned quickly what to tell them and what not to tell them. It hurt my father terribly when he realized we were all censoring the news we shared with him, but his broadcasting everything to the rest of the family hurt worse. This sister needs to find the trusted confidant the response talks about. I hope she finds that person soon!

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