I agree with the recommendation above.
One additional perspective is thinking about this from the dependent daughter's perspective. She is probably not entirely happy being a perpetual juvenile but she doesn't have the life skills to make it yet. Helping her to grow even at this late day would be nice. But she cannot see you as the enemy nor as her mother. That might be very difficult.
You don't know the deep future. This daughter might be the one taking care of you or your husband during the last and often most difficult chapter in your life.
Sounds to me like the father is an enabler. While I wouldn't recommend that he throw his daughter out on the street, he needs to work on getting her self-esteem up so she can live independently.
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