I read this and gave it a great deal of thought. One of the missing elements in all the advice is trust. Suppose you act on your fantasy. Your new lover/boyfriend/husband would never be able to trust you. Marriage assumes that romantic adventures have ended. That's a quick thought to be pondered. Also, why not make your present lover someone so special you would never think of leaving him? Plan dinners, outings, (you don't need to spend a lot of money to make these moments memorable.) Life is about making memories. I assume you have children. Get a camera, or make pictures of your family. Make some scrapbooks. But most of all, FLEE evil. Memorize this scripture, 1 Cor. 10:13-14. Remember, the Lord's Way is to build, create, give meaning to life. Satan's way is to destroy, wreck, lie. Good luck, and flee from thinking about that man!
I have been in contact with several boyfriends of my youth on Facebook (as well as having several male friends I've made in game chat rooms). The smartest thing, though, that I have done is to be open and honest with my husband about these contacts. I do enjoy seeing the success and families of former boyfriends. I'm happy they are happy, as I remember them all fondly. One friend started getting very flirtatious in chat conversations. I put that right to a stop explaining that anyone and everyone likes attention but I am a very monogamous married lady who will not hold those kind of conversations. I set rules with all of them that anything and everything we exchange online will be shared with and open to inspection by my spouse. This boundary setting helped all of us keep conversations friendly without reminiscing or longing for previous relationships and feelings from my youth.
My comments won't help this sweet sister with her problems, but perhaps will help others set appropriate limits with "old flames".
Emotional infidelity, I found this article helpful:
Oh my gosh! I know SO many people who have been in this same place. Middle aged and married with teenagers, older ones with adult children and grandkids. Amazing how our minds conjure up what we "think love was like" at an early age. Males and females both - but females more often. Great article to help folks see the reality of their "young love" and how it prevents them from enjoying more fulfilling lives. That early imprint on young adults is quite strong.
Maturity helps most people overcome this fantasy notion but some struggle for years and often fantasize about that "perfect" other person. Nobody's perfect don't ya' know. My 3 words to anyone - LET IT GO!
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