A ‘sense of entitlement’ is an understatement in describing your ex-dil’s attitude. Perhaps SHE should put every dime she spends on booze toward the future care of her special needs child.
Yet, the real question is whether she was an alcoholic, and your son chose to marry her anyway.
I personally know two addicted, out-of-control mothers who should NOT be parenting, period. They fail to adequately supervise their young children day to day, not to mention offering zero help with things like homework or age-appropriate activities. One of these females is currently in prison, so AT LEAST her children get a break from the madness. I must add that these womens’ flaws were clearly present when their non-discriminating husbands chose to marry them anyway.
If this is the case for your son as well, I dare say that your precious grandchildren may well spend their entire childhoods in a continual upheaval between a self-serving mother and an enabling father. Then when both these adults seek out new partners, the childrens’ well-being will wind up clear at the end of the line, as they further miss out on love, time and stability.
Due to this no-win situation I would do everything I could to appease your ex-dil and continue to prove to her that you have the childrens’ best interests at heart, if you actually do. (Not trying to be harsh, but am trying to wake you up to the needs of three little innocent souls.) If this means they stay in the better school district, then that’s what should happen. Perhaps you can help her with a down payment on a place within that district.
The impact of loving, involved grandparents nearby can’t even be measured.
That is a tough one for every person involved. I was really curious what you would say. I learned a lot from your wisdom. I hope my family never faces that situation.
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