I am divorced. my husband walked away from our family after 25 years married. My in-laws have been fantastic. Their first reaction was to invite me and the kids to live with them so they could help support us. They just really wanted to show how much they loved and supported us. We didn't go live with them but we knew then and still know now how much they love and support us. They have good financial means and are known for giving large financial gifts at Christmas to their children, each Christmas the financial gift to their son is divided in half and half goes to him and half goes to me...they make sure I am still treated as family. Plus their grandchildren live or lived with me...as my Father-in-law said...I trust you more than my own son that this money will be used to benefit your entire family. We are still invited to all family events... baby blessings for cousins, nieces and nephews, marriages (i am temple worthy and the ex is not). The only thing I miss out on is family reunions, but my children attend. Love, phone calls, cards, texts, visits... all will establish that you are still there for your grandchildren and also your former daughter-in-law. Let here know how sorry you are to see this marriage end and extend your love. The key is to make sure she knows how much you love her. If she feels love from you, she will keep the lines of communication open and the doors open to open communication with your grandchildren. Too often I hear my divorced friends tell me how awfully they have been treated by their former in-laws... I just don't understand the need to be mean and sever contact with your grandchildren.
Thank you for your comment. this is my question that I emailed to Geoff. The "judge not" is a difficult thing right now and I am putting forth extra effort to not be judgmental and to ensure my family is careful as well. It is the young children in the home that worries me...how will their life be affected by the turmoil and discord within the walls?
These are the situations that really stretch our souls to "press forward with steadfastness..., having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men... and endure to the end," Faith, Hope & Charity is what mothers and grandmothers are made of. I will add a fourth critical commandment, "Judge not. Lest ye judge unrighteously." Finally, help ensure your son has support. He's in a tough spot! He needs a lot of loving support (as does his ex), but he's alone. And it is not good that man is alone.
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