Leah, thanks for your inspiring comments. I wholeheartedly agree. Because we have agency, we can choose not to be angry. The Lord confirms this in 3 Nephi 12:21-22. Anger is a judgment, a way of seeing the world and ourselves. It may not be easy, but with the Lord's help we can choose to see things differently, to see them "as they really are" (as you illustrated).
If we have the ability to react to anger, then we also have the ability to avoid anger in the first place. Realizing we can choose not to be angry helps us escape a painful trap.
LeahMarch 7, 2018
I have been a substitute teacher for about 10 years. It has given me an opportunity to work on many failings, such as being a control freak. It has also helped me make progress with anger management. I've learned to name the feeling or situation: "this is a hard day", "I'm really tired". When I talk to myself about it, I move the feeling from the lower part of the brain to the civilized, thinking part. I also try to "reframe' my attitude toward the kids - like not thinking "they are little @#$%" but (deep breath) "they are learning". "They are in process" I was surprised you didn't list "loss of control" as a source of anger. That used to make me angry when I couldn't control the whole class! Life is such a learning process. Last night, in prayer, I wept in gratitude for all I have been able to learn in life, with the Lord's help.
Cynthia DeckerMarch 6, 2018
I know a person who is having big trouble with her daughter which has reduced her to tears much of the time. She tries to bolster herself by doing all the things a good Latter-Day Saint should. She is an extremely kind and good person, which from my perspective her daughter is totally exploiting. I want to tell my friend to get a little angry. Not the kind of anger that causes you to yell or scream or hit someone, but the kind of anger that gives a person power to go on when things are tough. In your opinion is there a righteous anger that can help her. I used to compete in triathlons and found that if I was angry at something or someone I could run a lot faster and longer. My friend is at the brink of a breakdown.
Ron BarnesMarch 5, 2018
A person can choose how they react to anger but they cannot choose to not be angry. If a person is physically injured they cannot choose for it to not hurt. It will hurt and their only choose is how to react to the pain. Likewise, a person cannot choose to not be angry. The anger will come and their only choice is how to react to it.
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KathrynMarch 8, 2018
Leah, thanks for your inspiring comments. I wholeheartedly agree. Because we have agency, we can choose not to be angry. The Lord confirms this in 3 Nephi 12:21-22. Anger is a judgment, a way of seeing the world and ourselves. It may not be easy, but with the Lord's help we can choose to see things differently, to see them "as they really are" (as you illustrated). If we have the ability to react to anger, then we also have the ability to avoid anger in the first place. Realizing we can choose not to be angry helps us escape a painful trap.
LeahMarch 7, 2018
I have been a substitute teacher for about 10 years. It has given me an opportunity to work on many failings, such as being a control freak. It has also helped me make progress with anger management. I've learned to name the feeling or situation: "this is a hard day", "I'm really tired". When I talk to myself about it, I move the feeling from the lower part of the brain to the civilized, thinking part. I also try to "reframe' my attitude toward the kids - like not thinking "they are little @#$%" but (deep breath) "they are learning". "They are in process" I was surprised you didn't list "loss of control" as a source of anger. That used to make me angry when I couldn't control the whole class! Life is such a learning process. Last night, in prayer, I wept in gratitude for all I have been able to learn in life, with the Lord's help.
Cynthia DeckerMarch 6, 2018
I know a person who is having big trouble with her daughter which has reduced her to tears much of the time. She tries to bolster herself by doing all the things a good Latter-Day Saint should. She is an extremely kind and good person, which from my perspective her daughter is totally exploiting. I want to tell my friend to get a little angry. Not the kind of anger that causes you to yell or scream or hit someone, but the kind of anger that gives a person power to go on when things are tough. In your opinion is there a righteous anger that can help her. I used to compete in triathlons and found that if I was angry at something or someone I could run a lot faster and longer. My friend is at the brink of a breakdown.
Ron BarnesMarch 5, 2018
A person can choose how they react to anger but they cannot choose to not be angry. If a person is physically injured they cannot choose for it to not hurt. It will hurt and their only choose is how to react to the pain. Likewise, a person cannot choose to not be angry. The anger will come and their only choice is how to react to it.
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