Interestingly, I experienced basically the same experience as you did Wanda. My ex-wife suffered then (and still does) from serious mental illness and convinced our Bishop that I was abusive toward her and our six children. I had been an Elders Quorum President twice and was currently serving on the Stake High Council, but somehow that Bishop believed my unstable ex-wife's crazy stories. That Bishop was not inspired; he said and did things that empowered my ex-wife's destruction of our family which to this day remains in shambles. After thirty years she continues to mislead many in the Church including priesthood leaders. But more seriously she continues to sow anger, rage, mistrust, and division among all members of the family. A subsequent Bishop likewise failed to understand that mental illness was at the root of our family's problems. Both of these Bishops subsequently suffered serious spiritual and temporal setbacks. One lost his multi-million dollar home to foreclosure and the other lost his testimony completely and started his own church while he was a counselor in the Stake Presidency. This telestial world provides us with an opportunity to learn many lessons. I went inactive for two decades as a result of my ex-wife's mental illness, but returned to the Gospel and now in full fellowship. The miracle of forgiveness does bring many blessings. I feel no ill will toward either of these Bishops. Mentally ill people can be very convincing because they believe their lies. If every priesthood holder and priesthood leader could defeat every evil force and overcome every lie, the plan of salvation would be thwarted; free agency would end; our faith couldn't be tested. Our eternal family can't be destroyed except by the exercise of free agency by each member of our family. Eternal family is exactly what it says: eternal! Not just in this temporal existence.
What are we to make of times when following the advice of priesthood leaders leads directly to terrible suffering and destruction?
I am referring to a time in my life when our bishop told my husband to do something, something that led directly to our divorce. The advice, on the surface, seemed reasonable. But my then husband was suffering from a severe mental illness, then undiagnosed. The bishop did not include me in his counsels. Indeed, in the next almost 30 years of priesthood holders directing and acting toward my former husband, not once were any of his wives consulted about the advice given or actions taken that would so sorely affect not only our mortal lives, but our eternal families. Perhaps some humility about the use of priesthood authority should be taught these same men. I know I am still struggling to find it in my heart to forgive them. Because how can you forgive men who destroyed your eternal family? Because they acted never bothering to seek the truth.
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