Thank you! Just because we can't make it to every service project or activity, it doesn't mean that we're any less of a righteous member. I think the guilt trip we put on ourselves...and the guilt trip that some members put on those who aren't at everything is unkind and not right. The Lord doesn't want us to overextend ourselves to the point to where we have nothing left to give. It's a choice of "Good, Better or Best." Excellent article that highlights a real and ongoing issue....
Barbara StrongJuly 28, 2017
Ah, Robin, but "The tree was happy". Maybe that is the key. If our choice is a happy one for us, then that is a different thing. If we feel too exhausted, sick, or resentful from our choice to serve, then that is when we change the choice, or our attitude depending on the circumstances.
Enjoyed the article. We often do need to choose not to serve beyond our abilities or health or home circumstances.
LynnetteJuly 27, 2017
I have a physically disabled husband and there are days that I am so exhausted that I cannot move at the end of the day. One sister asked me to do something at a Relief Society event and I replied that I could not because of the physical care for my husband.
She then told me that I should not use my husband as an excuse as all I did was push a wheelchair. Each time that I am physically helping my husband our joke is "you are only pushing a wheelchair".
Mom cheerleaderJuly 27, 2017
I do agree with much of this but in the graph I hope one example is listed incorrectly. . .when you say no to your daughters soccer game you are saying yes to your hair appointment. I am sorry but I would hope no child feels.that their mother's hair appointment is more important than the child is. My hair may not have always been perfectly cut, colored, or styled, but my children always knew I was in the audience for their activities.
Renaissance NerdJuly 27, 2017
This could've been written just for me. I have three jobs in my ward (one in Scouting), and still feel guilty when I don't go help with a move or clean the building etc. I always realize I only have so much time and strength and plenty of other things that need doing, but I always feel bad that I can't just do everything. I'm going to work on not feeling that I'm a failure if I can't be an übermensch.
Harold RustJuly 27, 2017
There is a great parallel to this theme in examples of our Vietnam prisoners of war. Some could hold out giving information under extreme torture while others were scared to the core after just mild threats. However, they were all expected to keep improving on how well they could hold up under successive interrogations and thereby ultimarely "defeat" the Vietnamese guards.
It is more than appropriate to say "no" when we hit our limit, but we should also keep working to expand that limit.
robinJuly 27, 2017
i'm SO glad to finally hear someone who sees the real - unhealthy - message behind "the giving tree." that book is a huge example of emotionally unhealthy behavior!
hollandparkJuly 27, 2017
Sister Smith, this was SO helpful and validating.
We should not feel we must (or be guilted) into agreeing to do everything that is asked of us, especially in the Church.
Sometimes we are not able to physically, emotionally or mentally do something--and our leaders should accept that, without putting pressure on us to comply for THEIR convenience.
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KaceeJuly 29, 2017
Thank you! Just because we can't make it to every service project or activity, it doesn't mean that we're any less of a righteous member. I think the guilt trip we put on ourselves...and the guilt trip that some members put on those who aren't at everything is unkind and not right. The Lord doesn't want us to overextend ourselves to the point to where we have nothing left to give. It's a choice of "Good, Better or Best." Excellent article that highlights a real and ongoing issue....
Barbara StrongJuly 28, 2017
Ah, Robin, but "The tree was happy". Maybe that is the key. If our choice is a happy one for us, then that is a different thing. If we feel too exhausted, sick, or resentful from our choice to serve, then that is when we change the choice, or our attitude depending on the circumstances. Enjoyed the article. We often do need to choose not to serve beyond our abilities or health or home circumstances.
LynnetteJuly 27, 2017
I have a physically disabled husband and there are days that I am so exhausted that I cannot move at the end of the day. One sister asked me to do something at a Relief Society event and I replied that I could not because of the physical care for my husband. She then told me that I should not use my husband as an excuse as all I did was push a wheelchair. Each time that I am physically helping my husband our joke is "you are only pushing a wheelchair".
Mom cheerleaderJuly 27, 2017
I do agree with much of this but in the graph I hope one example is listed incorrectly. . .when you say no to your daughters soccer game you are saying yes to your hair appointment. I am sorry but I would hope no child feels.that their mother's hair appointment is more important than the child is. My hair may not have always been perfectly cut, colored, or styled, but my children always knew I was in the audience for their activities.
Renaissance NerdJuly 27, 2017
This could've been written just for me. I have three jobs in my ward (one in Scouting), and still feel guilty when I don't go help with a move or clean the building etc. I always realize I only have so much time and strength and plenty of other things that need doing, but I always feel bad that I can't just do everything. I'm going to work on not feeling that I'm a failure if I can't be an übermensch.
Harold RustJuly 27, 2017
There is a great parallel to this theme in examples of our Vietnam prisoners of war. Some could hold out giving information under extreme torture while others were scared to the core after just mild threats. However, they were all expected to keep improving on how well they could hold up under successive interrogations and thereby ultimarely "defeat" the Vietnamese guards. It is more than appropriate to say "no" when we hit our limit, but we should also keep working to expand that limit.
robinJuly 27, 2017
i'm SO glad to finally hear someone who sees the real - unhealthy - message behind "the giving tree." that book is a huge example of emotionally unhealthy behavior!
hollandparkJuly 27, 2017
Sister Smith, this was SO helpful and validating. We should not feel we must (or be guilted) into agreeing to do everything that is asked of us, especially in the Church. Sometimes we are not able to physically, emotionally or mentally do something--and our leaders should accept that, without putting pressure on us to comply for THEIR convenience.
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