Dr. Goddard, the first lady of Utah's personal initiative is about parenting - teaching parents skills and providing resources. Her website is uplift families.org. we are continually looking for good parenting articles to post on the site. If you have any articles you would like to submit for posting could you contact me at [email protected]
To But first...
You raise a very good question. The book ScreamFree Parenting talks a lot about "stepping away emotionally" and has been very helpful to me. It is the idea that we are not responsible "for" our children (it sounds like your mom struggled with this) but rather "to" them. We get a handle on our own behavior/responses and then can calmly, rationally, lovingly parent. Anyway, it was among the most helpful parenting books I've read.
In order for parents to react properly, they first have to emotionally take themselves out of the equation of the problem. My mother's verbal and physical abuse for minor infractions came about because she was afraid my behavior would make her look bad to others. She was primarily concerned about "looking good" to the ward and neighborhood, not about preserving her children's feelings or instructing them.
Parents need perspective first, then they can behave this way.
How do parents step away emotionally?
Email (will not be published)
Daily news, articles, videos and podcasts sent straight to your inbox.