Odd title selection. Why would this problem NOT affect LDS marriages just as much as any other religious or non-religious marriage?
Nevertheless, excellent insight. It goes hand in hand with the Eternal Partnership lesson in the Gordon B Hinckley manual. Sister H gave the same very good advice...and look how long their marriage lasted! ;)
We recently watched a movie that touched on this: War Room. It's about a couple that focuses on the things they don't like about each other and end up fighting all the time. An elderly woman teaches the wife that she shouldn't be fighting her husband, she should be fighting Satan and loving her husband and praying for him. It's not an LDS film and some of the preachier aspects are a little annoying, but the message is good.
As a twenty year married couple, you find yourself in this type of scenario. One may wish to change the other partner yet say things like, "you need to just find out who you are and do that." So you start doing those things that make up you and then you find it's not acceptable to your other partner.
I hold onto the concept and do my best to think of the things my husband does right. For stake relief society meeting we were asked to say in our prayers what we appreciate about our spouses. Especially when praying together. My husband began to be so amazing to me. All the stupid negative thoughts began to melt away.
So this article is so true. We may never be able to change the things we don't like about our spouses but we definitely can work to be a better example and develop ourselves into being a better person.
I love this article! We lived in the basement of this exact house with the Goddards the second year of our marriage. So fun to read it and think about these parallels with marriage. As a side note, Wally was so kind and generous to us when we accidentally clogged one of those drains - he practices what he preaches!
this article is what I always think of, when it comes to marriage.
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to talk with a young couple shortly before their wedding. I told them that during my 40 years of marriage I have discovered one of the secrets to making it a success. I told them they need to learn to “tolerate” each other. They looked at me strangely. I explained that each of them would do things that the other would find to be irritating. They need to learn to tolerate those things. My wife still does things that irritate me and I guess the opposite is also true. Still, I don’t say anything about it and neither does she.
Thank you for this article! My husband is now gone, but I certainly could have used this while he was still living. He was a master at this, though. I have many flaws and imperfections but he chose to only see the good in me. I will be sharing this with my married children. It's a good reminder for us all.
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