Yes Vickie, there are a few good books on the subject like, "When Sex Hurts." You may also want to see a good physical therapist that specializes in sexual/vulvar pain. They tend to be much more knowledgeable and helpful when it comes to painful sex.
Crystal and Kambel, I completely agree! That is why the book this information is taken from is 12 chapters addressing 12 T's (Talk, Touch, Time, Tenderness, etc.) and is nearly 300 pages. This T for "Time" only addresses the need for women to make their marriage and their intimate relationship a priority. Their husbands can't do it for them and often husbands are doing everything they can to help. As Kambel mentions, many husbands can do much to help their wives want to make intimacy a priority. But you are right on that it's not just about "putting out" just cuz you're supposed to!!
as a licensed clinician I can't believe an article on sexuality within a marriage would simply instruct the woman to have more sex with her husband without addressing the many many factors involved in marital intimacy. Surely we can do better by our young women then simply telling them it is their job to to satisfy their husbands.
Why is it "fat" never gets the attention it needs ? This is one of the biggest turn-offs when it comes to sex. Whilst it is true that fat generates in both sexes it is also true that as a turn-off it affects men more than women (based upon studies that suggest that men are more "visual" than women). I would like to see some discussion on this "taboo" subject. I would hazard a guess and say this is a primary reason why men lose interest in there wives and turn to other women.
all that's great, but what about when the husb puts the wife at the bottom of priorities. TV, or talking/texting friends is first, even during family/couple time. He never touches, hugs, kisses, but gets all hurt and offended when he grabs her boobs when she gets out of the shower? Sex is fine, but men have to realize that their Wife isn't just going to jump in the sack with him whenever He feels like it, when he's not putting in time for the Intimacies that She needs. Sex might be intimate, but Intimacy isn't always Sex.
Wives who want sexual intimacy can also be deprived by their husbands who turn to porn instead of the real woman they married. If your husband rarely shows interest in sex he's probably getting his fix elsewhere. Making time for each other won't work when he can get his needs met without investing any time or emotions and get endless variety of titilation.
Do you have any info on where to turn when intimacy is painful for the woman. It is pretty well know fact, but most drs ignore it.
Excellent article. There is a huge problem in the LDS culture regarding intimacy and sex. Every couple needs to read this and begin repairing broken relationships. Ladies--it's time to set your pride aside and start focusing on the covenants you made in the temple. For the sake of your marriage and your posterity.
One thing that has been helpful to our sexual relationship has been communicating the type of intimacy we are desiring at the moment. We've coined it Fast Food, Homemade and Gourmet! You can always make time for fast food and that's OK, not every time has to be AMAZING. But when we communicate the need for more time and investment, we can create those experiences as well.
Getting away to different locales always lends itself to the Gourmet variety, more investment generally means more returns and so very worth it!
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