“The Spirit will flood our hearts, awaken our faculties to do [family history]. . .family history is more than just looking for names, dates, and places. It is uniting families and feeling the joy that comes from extending to them the ordinances of the gospel.”[1] (Elder Benjamín De Hoyos, General Conference April 2023)
Have you ever felt just how thin the veil between this life and the eternities is, especially when engaging in gathering Israel? For me, doing temple work often seems to open a heavenly conduit to knowing our loved ones are ever so close; particularly those we knew.
Loss of My Sister
Last August, I felt the deep sadness of losing my first sibling. Laurie had struggled with severe health issues for decades, but always had pulled through serious bouts of close calls. So, in a way we thought perhaps, even given a 1% chance of survival, she just might pull through. But it wasn’t to be.
Laurie and I in some ways were opposites. She was the tallest of the four girls; I am the smallest. Laurie had blue eyes; I have brown. Even as we walked the shorelines of the Atlantic Ocean, she could always find white shark’s teeth (living sharks) while I spied the sleek, black, fossilized teeth of long ago. Where I have remained active in the Church, Laurie had veered away many years previous.
Wading through the feelings of loss and mourning seemed to be accompanied with thoughts of what might have been; thoughts of more peace for Laurie in this life. On the other hand, I found myself filled with great excitement. Although Laurie had strong feelings against the Church after being excommunicated, she had given me written permission to perform the necessary ordinances and covenants in her behalf.
So, exactly thirty days after her death, I reserved her temple work. Then, a few weeks later, I had the great pleasure of “being” with Laurie in the Washington DC Temple most of the day while doing all the necessary ordinances for her. Two of my remaining seven siblings were able to join me to do her endowment, sealing to our parents and to her husband Peter who had passed away in 2015.
Gaining Permission To Do Temple Work
After Peter died, Laurie had given me permission to reserve his temple work which was done by one of my brothers. Yet, there was one ordinance we couldn’t perform; Peter’s sealing to his parents. There was a definitive reason for this. Peter and his family are not members of the Church; and Peter’s parents could not have their temple work completed without the permission from a living family member (see 110 year rule). Several years ago, I had added Peter’s family to FamilySearch and connected their family lines to existing ancestors extending back several generations. More recently, I had given members of Peter’s family the genealogy I had gathered. By doing so, I created the basis of preparation to when their work could be performed which is now!
Not long after completing Laurie’s work last fall, my siblings and I got word that Peter’s brother, Alfred, had passed away. Once again, we were saddened to lose a friend and “extended” family member. I have known Peter’s family since my youth. Keeping in consistent touch with them over the years is a different matter. I did reach out to Peter’s brother, Eric, to offer my condolences. This is when I decided to ask Eric for permission to do his family’s temple work.
It had been quite awhile since I had spoken with Eric, decades in-fact. Our only communication besides a text of condolence when Al died, was an occasional “like” or comment on Facebook. Another road block were the coming holidays. Thanksgiving and Christmas were just around the corner; so, I decided I would wait until the new year of 2023 rolled in.
During this wait, I can’t say calling Eric was forefront on my mind. Another three deaths in our family by mid-January 2023 brought it back to center. Texting him first, we arranged a time to talk. When we spoke, we found, through the recent experiences of several deaths and serious illness, both of us had been waylaid by the fragility of mortality. Yet, instead of a gloomy conversation, it was filled with sweet memories, honesty of emotion, and love. Eric was grateful for thinking of him and his family, and gladly gave his permission to complete his family’s temple work. He also gave me the necessary contact information I needed and agreed to respond to FamilySearch.
Within a month of receiving permission, I was back at the Washington DC temple. I had printed Eric’s mother’s card, Pat Megargee, in order to begin her work. I knew Pat and always remembered her smile and the way she would welcome me into her home. I felt such joy being able to participate in performing the saving ordinances for her.
Is She Here?
Since there were many people in the baptistry that morning, I asked the temple worker if she could give Pat’s name to one of the groups. I watched as she tried to have the Pat’s ordinance card added to the stack. The temple worker was rebuffed several times as not to go over the “five allotted cards per patron” standard that afternoon. Finally, the last group was waiting. This time, the temple worker was successful. Pat’s name was added to the pile.
I keenly watched and waited with anticipation as the patron entered the water. Pat Megargee’s name quickly emerged on the monitor; the first name to appear on the screen! At that moment, a heartfelt, yet, fleeting thought passed through my mind. I wondered if Pat was there; and if she was accepting the work done in her behalf.
Now, the surname of Megargee is not your typical name. I must say, after over thirty years of attending the temple, I do not ever recall seeing the surname Megargee. So, you can imagine my feelings when the very next name was Marion I. Megargee. I was filled with such love and gratitude for I knew at that moment the Lord was answering my simple inquiry. Pat was there and accepting these ordinances offered. How personal this felt to me. My testimony of how closely the Lord is involved in our lives, especially when engaged in gathering Israel, grew.
Doing temple work for those I knew in life always seems to be a sweeter experience. Being able to perform the ordinances of salvation for my sister, Laurie, and Peter’s mother, Pat, were a privilege. With the help of my brother, who will perform the work for Peter’s father and brother Al, we will continue doing this precious family’s temple work until it is complete.
Citations and Notes
- De Hoyos, Benjamín. The Work of the Temple and Family History—One and the Same Work. 1 Apr. 2023, www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/04/28de-hoyos?lang=eng.
- Names used with permission
- Questions about Temple Ordinances see: Temple Ordinances for the Deceased
Questions about the 110 year rule see: What is the 110-year policy, and why was it initiated?
MaryannApril 13, 2023
There is nothing like the joy we feel when we search out our dead and perform their ordinances in the temple. I didn't start doing family history until I was in my 40s because I thought it was too hard and I just didn't feel up to it. A friend went with me to the Family History Center in our stake and her support gave me courage. The family history workers were so helpful and I was soon caught up in this glorious, joyful work. I learned how to begin my family tree on the church's Family Search website. I learned how to find records and how to search them. When we do this work, the Lord will accept our offerings, however small. I have been amazed at how much progress has been made to assist us in finding names. As more and more people engage in this holy work, the family lines are being revealed and the work is just exploding! People can begin in simple ways, such as writing down all the information they have about their parents and grandparents. Don't wait to ask your grandparents questions until they are dead. Contact all your living relatives and get as much information that you can. This will be an invaluable springboard for you to continue in the work. I can feel the Spirit of Elijah and I am so thankful to be a part of this sacred work.
Diane RogersApril 12, 2023
That was a beautiful story with thoughts on how to proceed with obtaining permission. I loved it!!!