Line upon Line

Nothing is more self-draining than hypocrisy. When our public persona belies our private conduct, we bleed. The spiritual hemorrhaging can be difficult to stop.

The word “hypocrite” derives from the Greek word for acting or pretending. Webster’s defines hypocrisy as “feigning to be what one is not.”

We have all known people whom we admired and trusted, until they violated that trust.

Con men understand trust and human nature very well. From the word “confidence,” they gain our trust in order to violate it. They feign one agenda, to exact another.

Hypocrisy, or feigning our character, is a con game of sorts. Such deceit manifests itself in a hundred ways. I mention three of them.

Fault-finding

Since each of us is imperfect, finding fault in others is the classic pot-calling-the-kettle-black hypocrisy.

The Savior had strong words against fault-finding. “Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye” (Matt. 7:5).

President Thomas S. Monson said, “Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life” (Thomas S. Monson, “Charity Never Faileth,” Ensign, November, 2010).

Some years ago I was concerned about a teacher’s lesson in a Sunday School class. Though new to the ward, I expressed my concern to two women leaders whom I felt could privately “correct” the teacher. My criticism was accurate but unkind. To my chagrin, the two women leaders were the teacher’s sisters!

I learned a valuable lesson that day. Before criticizing anyone, ask yourself three questions: Is it true? Is it kind? Have I been guilty of the same thing? With the pause of those questions, we would be better served to substitute kindness for criticism.

Advice Column

Have you noticed that hypocrites are long on advice but short on listening to it? That is, they dole out tidbits of country wisdom without the corresponding willingness to listen and learn from their own counsel.

Often, such persons give Dear-Abby advice as a means of deflecting their own shortcomings. Sadly, such advice often morphs into criticism. Leaders understand this red flag whenever advice becomes so vocal that criticism is afoot. 

For example, sometimes a vocal minority will loudly “correct” perceived missteps by those in authority. Of these persons the Lord has warned, “But those who cry transgression do it because they are the servants of sin, and the children of disobedience themselves” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:17).

Hiding behind our Attitude

The energy it takes to maintain a public facade in order to hide a private reality is exhausting. Ask any celebrity whose image has been tarnished by revelations of misbehavior. After the initial jolt, these persons often express a liberating exhale once their sins become public.

Public facades are not limited to behavior, but also include hypocritical attitudes.

President Monson said, “I ask: if attitudes, deeds, and spiritual inclinations were reflected in physical features, would the countenance of the woman who complained be as lovely as that of the woman who criticized?” (Id.)

Maintaining a sweet attitude at church while being a sour puss at home leads to spiritual schizophrenia. Such a dual face is unhealthy. It is compartmentalization.

In the gospel of Jesus Christ, disciples cannot afford to compartmentalize. They must not have one face at the office and another at church. They must not justify bad attitudes as a boss that would be unacceptable as a parent or spouse.

When our public persona matches our private character, our smile is genuine and our attitude consistent.

The Cure for Hypocrisy

Perhaps each of us has been guilty of hypocrisy in one or more of its ugly permutations.

The cure is straightforward: any power or influence must be maintained “by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:42). Instructively, the Lord’s formula is non-hypocritical by definition, as in “love unfeigned.”

Consider the hated Samaritan. Though shunned for his pagan beliefs, it was the Samaritan, not the priestly Jews, who bound up the wounds of a robbery victim and took him to shelter and rest, even paying the inn-keeper for anticipated after-care. (Luke 10:25-37)