Introduction
My husband, Douglas Colton Perry, will celebrate his seventy-sixth birthday on December 1. We have been married for fifty-two years and this tribute to him is long overdue. In at least one way, he has been perfect through all the years of our engagement and marriage. Maybe the words of President Gordon B. Hinckley, during a priesthood session of general conference, will best explain the priceless gift he has given me: “Find happiness with one another. Give your companion the opportunity to grow in her own interests, to develop her own talents, to fly in her own way, and to experience her own sense of accomplishment.” (1) I will tell our story in the hope that others may see the importance of each spouse giving this gift to the other. I hope I have done this for Doug also, but this article is about him.
A Crucial Decision
I almost married the wrong man, and how different my life might have been if I had. Eighteen years old, living with my grandparents in Ogden, Utah, and wearing a diamond engagement ring, I brought my fiancé home to meet my parents in Vale, Oregon. My father, while irrigating out on his farm, prayed about my marriage decision and received an undeniable impression of the spirit that it was not right for me to marry my fiancé. He asked me to break my engagement and use my scholarship to study music at BYU. My decision to accept his counsel undoubtedly changed the course of my life.
I loved all my music classes at BYU. They opened up a whole new world of interest and achievement for me. I studied Music Theory, played in the Concert Band, sang in the University Chorale, and enjoyed vocal workshops, instrumental workshops and piano lessons. Many important religion classes strengthened my testimony. I knew I wanted to return for my sophomore year.
Someone New in my Music Classes
On the first day of my sophomore year I noticed a handsome returned French missionary setting up chairs for Concert Band and tried to make conversation with him. As I now know so well, he cannot concentrate on two things at once and barely gave me a nod. But through the semester our friendship gradually grew, as he was in four of my music classes. He asked me to accompany his vocal solo at mid-term and that was a turning point. We talked more than we practiced and after he walked me home, he received a prompting that I would someday be his wife. To his credit, he did not tell me about this experience at the time, but gave me time to reach this conclusion on my own. This time my parents approved, and Doug and I were married in the Logan, Utah temple a year after we met.
One evening shortly after our marriage we were reminiscing about some of the things that made us fall in love with each other. Something he said meant so much to me. As background, my brother Jack had given me a great love for sports and had practiced with me out on our farm continually until I had become quite skilled at different sports, especially fast pitch softball. Not every boy I had dated in high school and college considered that a positive thing, in fact the man I was previously engaged to wouldn’t even come to my games when I was pitching for the Ogden City Women’s Championship. But on this night Doug told me that was one of the things about me that first impressed him. We had been playing softball at his Elders Quorum party at BYU, when I caught a hard straight fly ball at shortstop with my bare hands and threw to first in time for a double play. When I heard him bragging to others about it, I imagined that with him I would feel free to participate in whatever sports I enjoyed, with his blessing. It was a big thing to me!
My Own Fan
I played church ball all through the years when our five children were born. When Doug was in graduate school at Indiana University, I typed for students and professors in our home and also tended other children to get us through. I needed a diversion and asked if he would mind if I pitched for the City League which was very competitive. He was all for it, tending kids when necessary and coming to my games. I also played racquetball frequently and enticed him to play co-ed volleyball with me at the church. When the Relief Society announced a bicycle race and gave the women several weeks to get in shape, Doug found me a used bike and encouraged me all the way. I came in second, with Doug and the kids cheering me on at the finish line.
We were pretty poor in graduate school days, but Doug insisted on incurring one debt. He bought me a beautiful Kimball console piano which looked somewhat out of place in our little apartment which we and many other students (members of the church) affectionately referred to as “The Mormon Ghetto.” I still have it in my music studio forty-two years later and remember what reverence I felt for that significant gift.
Doug’s enthusiastic support continued for as long as I was physically able to play ball safely. When he worked at Utah State, I pitched for two different city teams and played church ball and racquetball, always enjoying the advantage of having a willing babysitter. When we moved to Provo I continuing pitching for a city team, with my own little cheering section ever present. When I was nearly forty years old I broke my ankle playing basketball. Finally Doug sat on the edge of my bed and said, “Your injuries are getting more serious Jani, is there anything a little safer that would give you fulfillment?” He was right, it was time for a change.
Our Music Phase
While my foot was in a cast the bishop asked me to write music for our ward road show. Remembering how much I had enjoyed writing music for my BYU theory classes twenty years earlier, I decided to try it. I found that I loved writing music and I set a goal to add to the simple music of the church. The day I wrote my first gospel song, “I’ll Follow Jesus,” Doug gathered the kids around to hear it. He had tears in his eyes as I finished—the greatest encouragement he could have given me.
A year later we had enough songs to record our first album. We had been very careful to avoid debt so I was not anxious to borrow the $10,000 we would need to accomplish this. Doug did not hesitate, and his faith that things would turn out fine, persuaded me to go ahead. We paid back the money in a year. The next album cost twice that much and again I hedged, while he arranged with the bank for a line of credit to temporarily finance our projects. We went ahead, and each project paid for itself in a reasonable time.
The real test came when I wrote a full-length musical, “It’s a Miracle,” with my cousin Joy Lundberg, and we found that in order to produce and tour with the show we and the Lundbergs would have to borrow $80,000.
This time I dug my heels in, feeling that we could not risk our financial future on something for which the outcome was so uncertain. After prayerful consideration, Doug borrowed our share of the money ($40,000) and Lundbergs did likewise. But that was only the start of what Doug did to make this show succeed.
“It’s a Miracle” – U.S. tour
Our show toured the U.S. for three years with 239 performances. At the beginning, Doug built a very complex and beautiful set for the show in our carport and driveway—a set that would need to be disassembled after each show, and reassembled at each new venue. It was a monumental task that he never complained about. Gary Lundberg drove the bus we named “Faith” which carried our cast, and Doug drove the diesel truck we named “Works” carrying the set and props to each new location. Often Doug and the crew had to travel through the night after a show in order to be set up in time for the next show. I constantly marveled at his willingness to do something so hard for so long. He even played minor parts in the show where needed, including dancing! He said he was willing to do whatever it took because he believed in the message of the show which was to promote missionary work. I will never forget his sacrifice. Gary Lundberg supported his wife’s talents in the same admirable way and was one of the lead performers. We both were able to retire our debt by the end of our tour and contribute our profit to the Missionary Fund of the Church.
Unexpected Success
After the tour our music business prospered far beyond our expectations! Boxes of music, records, and cassettes were literally pushing us out of our modest home and we found a larger home across town near the Provo Temple where we would have room for offices and music storage. The home had a garage, but Doug had a better idea of how to use that space. He asked me, “Would you rather have a garage or a nice music studio?” I didn’t hesitate! During the next year as he helped with renovations to the home before we moved in, he built a beautiful music studio for me. I have spent most of my time in that room for the last twenty-five years never taking it for granted. And he brushed snow off of our cars, which were parked in the driveway, for over twenty years before we were able to add a nice garage to our home.
We constantly had need for a music engraver—a person who prepares all the sheet music for publication. Doug left his work as a data processor, learned the complex engraving process, and formed a business, Prime Music Engraving, to meet our company’s needs. What a gift this was!
Whenever I finish writing a song, I hand him my “scribble copy” (as he calls it) and he goes to the computer in his office and produces a beautiful master ready for publication. Every morning he asks, “Do you have any music ready for me today?” At such times I think of a friend I met when I first started writing music. She was also finding joy in writing gospel music, and her songs were beautiful. But sadly, she said, “No one will ever hear my songs because my husband considers the time I spend composing, a waste of time. He would never invest any money in it.” I weep for her as I count my blessings . . .
Beyond My Comfort Zone
Doug has often gently pushed me beyond my comfort zone in writing. I was dumbfounded when he said he felt I should write one hundred hymns but with the publication of our fifth volume of “Inspirational New Hymns for Choir and Home” I have written 170 hymns. Years ago when he said, “The Tabernacle Choir will someday sing your songs,” I was incredulous and told him that would never happen. Each time it has happened he has been right there beside me squeezing my hand as if to say, “Told you so.” He gives me a challenge and then he does everything in his power to help me achieve it.
When I took the bold step of auditioning for the Tabernacle Choir, I almost backed out several times, including right at the last second before going in for my in-person audition. He said, “If you get this far and don’t go through with this, you will always wonder.” Without his encouragement I would have missed out on five years of an amazing musical experience with the choir. He never once begrudged me the experience though it meant he would attend church alone every other year when our home ward was on the early schedule, and that I would be gone every Thursday night, and often other nights.
Doug loves languages and is fluent in several, so I felt I needed to show my support for him by being willing to serve a mission in a foreign country. Still, when we were called to serve in Santiago Chile, he was the one showing endless patience as he tried to help me learn the language. I was struggling—giving it all I had, without much success. On our anniversary he gave me a special present that he had been secretly preparing in the late evenings: a side-by-side English/Spanish Book of Mormon! Each verse, in both languages, was lined up in two columns, which greatly facilitated my language learning. I’d never received a more meaningful gift.
Others noticed how much Doug helped me on our mission. One morning as I sat by our mission president’s wife at a zone conference, watching Doug teach all the missionaries how to direct the music, she summed up what I have always known when she said, “I’ve been watching your husband through your mission—he fills in all the gaps for you, doesn’t he?” Indeed.
Our Travels
Our work together has taken us to almost every state in the U.S. and to several foreign countries to present musical programs and to receive awards, every one of which I knew should be shared equally with Doug. In their book, A Love That Lasts, Gary and Joy Lundberg include a paragraph about a man who constantly supports his wife’s talents. Though they do not give his name in their book, the story is about Doug:
“Recently, at a large gathering of people who had come to hear a prominent lecturer . . .a song was sung to pay tribute to her husband. He is always there quietly helping set up her sound equipment and doing anything else that she needs, giving her his full support. Many times he can be heard graciously accepting praise for his wife’s wonderful accomplishments. Consider his feelings as the song “The Wind Beneath My Wings” was sung as a surprise tribute to him at the conclusion of her lecture. This devoted husband could not hold back the tears. Nor could his wife because of the gratitude she felt for him and for all he does for her.
He is her hero, as the song describes. . . . Those who know him are fully aware that he feels . . . only delight in his wife’s accomplishments.” (2)
When people call to request that we present a program in their stake, I never need to clear it with Doug, I just always know he will be willing to go. Besides his setting up the technical part of our programs, he often speaks as well, good naturedly greeting the audience with, “Hi, I’m Brother Janice Kapp Perry.”
Reflections
I have always known that I am a person of average looks, always on the plump side, and not possessing a great amount of self confidence. What I lack in confidence, Doug has always supplied. I always knew I was beautiful to him, and that alone is a great blessing. Years ago, Joy Lundberg and I collaborated on a song called “Beautiful to You,” and though it was written for a different purpose, I think about Doug whenever I hear this chorus:
I always knew I was beautiful to you.
I always knew you’d be there to help me through.
You didn’t seem to see what was not right with me.
When others turned away, you were there to stay.
And I always knew, I was beautiful to you. (3)
Recently in a priesthood session of general conference President Uchtdorf spoke eloquently about women’s innate creative impulses, and urged the brethren to nourish them! This is one of the greatest gifts one spouse can give the other. In that way, I am so blessed.
I’m not saying that Doug is perfect . . . I still can’t get him to finish assembling the metal storage
shelves, or install the newly reupholstered seats on the kitchen chairs, or keep his office orderly. But I think I know why he doesn’t get to it—he’s too busy helping me.
(1) Gordon B. Hinckley, “Loyalty,” Liahona, May 2003, 58-60.
(2) Gary and Joy Lundberg , Love That Lasts, Covenant Communications, Inc, 2009, 141.
(3) Joy Saunders Lundberg, Far Different Places, Prime Recordings, 1995, 17.
Janice Kapp Perry’s CDs and music books can be purchased at www.janicekappperry.com
