My husband and I were both English majors. In fact, we met in an English class at BYU many years ago, married, and finished our senior year studying American and English literature together. When we learned of Robert and Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s courtship and marriage in our Victorian period course, his often-quoted poetry did seem romantic to a pair of happy newlyweds:
Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made.
(Robert Browning, “Rabbi Ben Ezra.”)
At the time, although I really didn’t think that we would grow old, I knew for certain that I wanted to spend my life (and eternity) with Larry. Forty-three years later, I believe we are approaching old, and life gets better every year.
Our daughter loaned us a book recently about how to grow younger—and with the compliment that we have already been doing a lot of things the book recommends—like exercising five to six days a week. I was particularly struck by one strong recommendation that people need community, connection, commitment, and causes. Written by a duo, a middle-aged internist and a 70-year-old retired attorney, the book suggests that people can take charge of their lives and make the “Next Third,” as they term the later years, really wonderful. Beside healthy eating and exercise, the writers stress connection and commitment.
“Do not underestimate the importance of connection and commitment. We were built for it,” said Chris Crowley.[1] He described how his retirement had “cut him off from the pack,” the connection, community, and commitment he had had in his law practice, and that is what he has missed most.
As I read the book, I marveled again at the blessing of being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Among the numerous ways that belonging to the Church helps us is that it provides community and connection for its senior citizens. Just living in a ward and a stake provides an instant community. By going to Sunday meetings each week, one is connected to people of all ages and who have a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. Add to that the fellowship that comes through callings and service. Then think of the watchcare of home teachers, visiting teachers, Relief Society, and priesthood leaders. Mingling with others in Church settings prevents the isolation and loneliness that can be so devastating to older people and provides numerous opportunities for socialization. It is a given that wards hold many parties and activities throughout the year and are done so with the express purpose of developing relationships and building the sense of community and belonging.
Though Chris and his wife thoroughly enjoyed their abundant free time and recreation, they came to the conclusion that retirement wasn’t just a long vacation or a sabbatical. “That’s no way to treat a life that’s going to last twenty or thirty years,” Chris wrote.[2] The Crowleys found new projects—which included his writing the book—that gave them a sense of connection and commitment. He said, “The point of it—the fun and the payoff—was the limbic connection and the commitment to doing something with a passion.”[3]
Having an empty nest and/or being retired from the marketplace affords time that wasn’t available when children were in the home and working was a necessity. Spending more time with grown children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren and friends is surely one of the delightful rewards of the golden years. More time is also available for enjoying hobbies, sports, taking classes, traveling, and volunteering.
This period also provides more time for Church service. Indeed, whoever heard of retirement in the Church? Seniors provide valuable service and bring experience and wisdom to callings in wards and stakes. Church leaders have long pleaded for more seniors to serve missions. Whether one serves part-time or full-time, locally or away from home, such service brings blessings of connection, community, and commitment.
Chris said, “Lots of people are going to struggle for a long time to find good projects to do in retirement.”[4] (267) However, serving in the Church isn’t just another “good project,” a way to make a contribution. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the greatest cause in the world. In an epistle Joseph Smith wrote in 1842 and recorded in D&C 128: 22, he said, “Shall we not go on in so great a cause? . . . Let your hearts rejoice, and be exceedingly glad.” How privileged we are—at any age—to belong to this Church and to help it “go forward” in all the ways we can.
That it blesses members with the benefits of connection, community, and commitment in this great cause is another evidence of its truthfulness. My “heart rejoices” and I am “exceedingly glad” that I am growing older. . . with the Church—and my husband. “The best is yet to be!”
[1] Chris Crowley and Henry S. Lodge, M.D., Younger Next Year (New York: Workman Publishing, 2004), 268.
[2] Ibid.
[3] Ibid., 267.
[4] Ibid.