We can’t help it. We picture those around us joining the church and how happy they would be. So it’s only a natural step to imagine celebrities-whose voices and images also surround us-doing the same thing. It would certainly bring their divorce rates down. Might even help with rehab for some of them. And, of course, you wonder what callings they’d be given. Here are just a few musings:

  1. Celine Dion could be the choir director-think how many folks would sign up!
  2. Vin Diesel could be in charge of fast offerings and grab folks by the collar if they seem reluctant.
  3. Martha Stewart could lead a luxury retreat for the Relief Society, how to rough it in style.
  4. Al Pacino could teach the 4-year-olds how to get their way despite being small in this world.
  5. Arnold Schwarzenegger could be the ultimate Home Teacher, visiting the less active and threatening them with, “I’ll be back.”
  6. Jackie Chan could teach a fitness class on Saturdays.
  7. Emeril could be Activities Chairman and head-up a ward dinner.
  8. Meryl Streep could direct the Christmas pageant.
  9. Oprah Winfrey could lead a Sub for Santa drive.
  10. Morgan Freeman could pop into talks as the voice of God.
  11. Curt Schilling could coach the ward softball team.
  12. Shirley McLaine could speak in behalf of the departed, at funerals.
  13. Kieffer Sutherland could lecture on time management.
  14. Jeff Gordon could be in charge of parking cars for Stake Conference.
  15. Angelina Jolie could work in the nursery.

Why, the possibilities are limitless. I say the missionaries in Hollywood and the Hamptons need to knock on just a few more doors. Before you know it, we’ll have a Warner Bros. Ward!

Joni’s daily advice show, The Joni Hilton Show, airs weeknights from 3-4 pm Pacific Time on AM950, streaming live at kahi.com.  Previously recorded shows can also be heard there.  If you’d like to call her show, the toll free number is 1-800-950-5244.