Lest I sound like Kermit the Frog with a new version of “It isnt easy being GREEN”, let me explain. It has been a year and a half since I became a widow with the passing of my life-long love, my soul mate Jim Rich. One of the most difficult challenges has been not having him beside me, holding my hand, sitting next to me, being seen with me! Interestingly, Ive found that one of the most difficult places to be seen alone is in church. Of course there are dear friends who are always kind and thoughtful but in church I see them with their spouses, looking as if life hasnt changed a breath and I feel, well.breathless!
So my question to you this week is this: How do you manage being seen alone? What are your challenges as a widow? What are some ideas for coping with not having someone beside you, especially in church and social setting? What makes it easier for you to go it alone?
Hoping to hear from you! HAPPY WEEK!
send your responses to ci*************@gm***.com and we will publish as many as we can.
Sandy BeckAugust 9, 2014
After 33 years of marriage, I found myself alone as a widow. With our children all raised and out of the house and living all over the country, Sundays could be torture. I finally learned to pray to the Lord to put me in the path of someone who needed me. It happened every Sunday. The new convert, the recently re-activated sister, the Bishop's wife with young restless children - all of these people needed my friendship and help. Then I was blessed with a calling to work in our Stake RS presidency. I became acutely aware of lonely hearts every where. My heart became more thankful and I definitely became aware of countless sisters whose hearts were hurting for whatever reason. Working in the Temple as an ordinance worker has saved my life. I feel close to my sweetheart when I am there and I also feel entrenched in the work of saving souls on the other side. Every time I work in the Temple, I am reminded of how deeply I want to keep my covenants so that I can be worthy of eternal blessings. Focus outward is my motto - in my job, church service and family interactions.
Suzi HansenAugust 7, 2014
I am not single, but my mother has been a widow for 16 years. She has shared many of her feelings with me. One of the things that interests me most is the different perspective she has, depending on "what side of the married/singles coin" she is dealing with. While her husband was still alive, she had a good friend who was widowed. They did a lot together as efforts were made on both sides to get together. My mom and dad would often pick her up and they would do things together. Now that mom is widowed, she bristles at the thought of having to have someone pick up her "alone" self. She says she feels like a "third wheel." I've asked her if she had thought of her friend, that they picked up for years, as "third wheel." "Heavens, no," she replied. We loved being together.