Geoff Steurer is a licensed marriage and family therapist.
Each Friday, we will take readers’ questions about how to improve their relationships-in or out of the family and answer them on Meridian. It will be your chance to ask a therapist what to do about relationships that worry or trouble you. The invitation begins today. Open an email and send your questions.
I have spent the past 14 years deeply engaged with individuals, couples, and families as a marriage and family therapist, struggling to help people make sense of their most important relationships. It’s not easy getting along with other humans. We are clumsy, selfish, blind, and narrow with our loved ones. It’s not uncommon to bristle in defensiveness at the same person we promised to love and cherish. Despite all of this potential for pain, our relationships can be one of the greatest sources of unspeakable joy. Dr. Ed Tronick captured this seemingly contradictory reality when he said, “We thrive in the messiness of human connection. Without it, we wither.”
Although I have years of experience working with distressed relationships, my most important lessons in relationships have come from my own as a husband, father, son, and brother. Like all of you, I live in a family and experience the same frustrating mistakes trying to stay connected to those I love. I personally understand how important it is to receive support and guidance in strengthening our relationships.
Even though I’ve written relationship columns for different publications over the years, writing for Meridian offers me a chance to explore relationships through a gospel lens. I believe the most helpful answers to our relationship challenges come through the revealed word of ancient and modern prophets. I’m grateful for the personal mentoring I’ve received from Wally Goddard who has taught me the importance of filtering all marriage and family research through gospel teachings so we are not led astray by the blindness of man. Thankfully, many family scholars have stumbled on truths that are consistent with the teachings of the Savior, which bless a multitude of marriages and families.
I invite you to send me your relationship questions. These questions can relate to your marriage, parenting, sibling relationships, work relationships, or any other relationship you want to improve. I will select one question each week and write a response. Of course, I will take great care to protect the identity of the individual asking the question.
Here are two ways you can send your questions:
About the Author
Geoff Steurer is a licensed marriage and family therapist in St. George, UT. He is the owner of Alliant Counseling and Education (www.alliantcounseling.com) and the founding director of LifeStar of St. George, an outpatient treatment program for couples and individuals impacted by pornography and sexual addiction (www.lifestarstgeorge.com). He is the co-author of “Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity”, available at Deseret Book, and the audio series “Strengthening Recovery Through Strengthening Marriage”, available at www.marriage-recovery.com. He also writes a weekly relationship column for the St. George News (www.stgnews.com). He holds a bachelors degree from BYU in communications studies and a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from Auburn University. He served a full-time mission to the Dominican Republic and currently serves on the high council of the St. George, Utah young single adult second stake. He is married to Jody Young Steurer and they are the parents of four children. You can contact him at www.lovingmarriage.com.